Is my love not enough for you? I understand if it's not. My love has been not enough once before; or should I say many times before? Maybe it is not my love. Maybe I do not convey it correctly. It can be hard to express something that has never been properly expressed to you. Maybe it has nothing to do with my love. Could it be me? I would not doubt it. I find myself not being enough often. I am not enough for my school. I try my best to attend school regularly and turn in my work. I have a C in my algebra class, even with all my work being turned in. Math used to be my favorite and highest-graded subject. My teachers always say to "try your best" and never seem to be upset with my work. So maybe I am enough for school. Could it be my parents? I know they got upset over my C. Instead of taking the few extra steps to see that every single algebra assignment of mine is turned in, proving that I do try as much as I swear. My efforts are never enough. I tend to take breaks from things to attempt to fix them on my own. People don't like my breaks. I'll take a break from people, school, activities, and work without even realizing it. I don't mean to. My psychiatrist and mother got on me about that at my last appointment. They say I need to stop avoiding conflict. In the real world, you can't behave in such a manner. They don't understand how it feels to be so choked up in a situation that you would do anything to escape. I think I have had enough of not being enough. My peers don't get how it feels to be absolutely done with yourself. I want to change. For you, for my friends, for my family, for my future, and for myself too. I want to be enough for you. I lose sleep, tears, time, and friends just stressing over the two of us. It's not a real relationship without sacrifice right? I want to be enough for you. I need to be. People don't realize how much I need you. All-day I drown in misery. You are the one to pull the drain plug. You are struggling with an addiction, luckily I've been an addict for years. You look at other people and say you want them to. You say you're poly but I know deep down that you can only love one. You are a cheater. So was I. That's why I stress over you. I know your struggles more than you think. You can get better. You're gonna realize you only love one, and that's supposed to be me. I've spent years learning and I'm ready to use my knowledge. Know it's going to be you I see down the aisle. Maybe I am enough for you. Yes, I have problems, but someone who is enough would admit that and work on it. Maybe you're just not enough for me. I couldn't tell this to you personally, you'd take it the wrong way. I love you more than anything. I want you to be enough for me. I just hope you love me enough to fight for us. I think I'm worth it.
