You Try (Even when the world doesn't want you to|| WayV Lucas Angst

Dissociation and arrythmia- a normal day in Xuxi's life pt.2

He's angry at Kun, because he's the leader and the oldest, and he's supposed to be safe. He's supposed to protect them, and he failed.

Kun's supposed to pick up his stupid phone...and he failed.

Now tears are streaming down his face and he's pretty sure he should call his therapist but Xuxi is not here and if he doesn't find him soon he might-

Kunhang's phone rings. Once, twice. He answers.

"I'm okay," Xuxi's voice sounds through the speaker and Kunhang feels air rush past his lips in relief.

The boy can't hold back the sob that escapes him and for a second, all he can do is stand in the middle of the street and be grateful that there was no one to see his breakdown.

"I'm okay" Xuxi repeats. Kunhang takes comfort in the word, repeating them for himself over and over again until he starts to believe them.

"You're okay" he breathes when sobs stop wracking his body.

A low hum is all the answer he gets.

"Where are you?" He asks quietly.

"I-" he hears Xuxi stammer. There's a shuffling sound on the other end of the line before the boy speaks again, "The second dance studio...in the company"

Kunhang is filled with panic for a second. Xuxi in the dance studio meant, for the past year, that he was overworking himself. He turns around and starts jogging to the company again, a small cloud of panic colouring his thoughts.

"Kunhang," he had almost forgotten he was still on the phone with Xuxi, "I'm okay."

That makes Kunhang slow down. Breathing through his nose and trying to quench the panic in his mind.

"I'm with Baekhyun" relief rushes through Kunhang's body.

He clears his throat before speaking again.

"Why did you leave?" He asks, and perhaps it came out harsher than he intended. Kunhang winces the second the words leave his mouth.

"I- uh" he can practically feel the quick breaths coming out of the boy. He's been there to take Xuxi down from panic attacks way too often for him not to know.

He wishes he could be there to rub his knuckles and pet his hair until his heart stopped fighting against his ribs. Alas, he just walks faster.

"Xuxi," a hum is the only answer he receives, "I'm not angry, just want to know what happened, okay?"

There's a pregnant pause where Kunhang breaks into a light jog again.

"Okay," the sound is broken, weak.

"I Baekhyun with you?" He decides to ask. An attempt on taking Xuxi's mind away from whatever lies his brain has conjured.

"Uh, no. I left the room to talk to you," he makes a pause before speaking again "I don't know...why I left, I mean" and yeah, Kunhang suspected that, "Can't really remember how I got here, just- I don't know- it's blurry...sorry"

He expected this, so he just shakes his head and hums a negative. "No need to apologise, I had an idea this could've happened"

"You did?" The voice is small, childlike and Kunhang can't help but smile a little.

"Yeah," he says quietly, "You do this sometimes. Get lost in Xuxi World," this pulls out a slight chuckle from the other end.

There's silence as he walks down the street. And it's ridiculous really, they were just a door away from Xuxi. Had the boy knocked on the Studio 1 door instead of 2, all this could've been avoided.

He chuckles to himself.

Xuxi's voice comes through the line.

"I really scared you didn't I?" It's said in a whisper but it makes Kunhang stop in his tracks, "I mean," Xuxi continues, "not now, when-when I...yeah" Kunhang knows when he means.

He waits for a second.

He keeps walking.

"Yeah," he breathes.

"Sorry," is the answer.

Kunhang shakes his head. It's not Xuxi's fault. He's about to say this when the other beats him to it.

"You're okay?" And the irony of it all almost sends Kunhang laughing.

"I'm okay," he says.

"I'm-" now it's his turn to stammer, apparently, "I'm working with my therapist, and it's not too bad, just- you scared me today too," he says, "it's not your fault though, I understand" he's just around the corner of the company now, closer and closer to Xuxi.

"You're okay," Xuxi says and it almost makes Kunhang stop again. A smile breaks on his lips as he nods.

"I'm okay" he answers just as the company building appears.

Xuxi hums in response. Kunhang can practically see him; sitting with his knees against his chest and his chin resting on top of them. And if he walks a little faster, that's only for him to know.

Xuxi begins speaking again then, just as he's crossing the door.

"I'm going to be okay too" now Kunhang actually stops. The lady in the reception looks at him weirdly, but he can't help the huge smile that attacks his face.

"Yeah," he breathes, a couple tears travelling down his cheeks, "Yeah, you're going to be okay too"

He walks up the stairs with the sound of Xuxi's breaths in his ear. When he reaches the dance studios Xuxi is sitting on the floor in the same position Kunhang imagined him. The taller boy looks up at him, eyes unfocused and Kunhang knows he's not as present as when he called.

And that's okay.

Today's a spacey day, and that's okay. It's not...it isn't anyone's fault.

______________

It's thirty minutes and a panicked call later, that he remembers he never told the others he had found Xuxi. 

Notes:

I hope you liked this really short chapter :(

(...I mean...since it's part 2, it's not short....hehe)

1. Any questions?

2. Recommendations? Criticism?

3. Anything you're excited for?

4. WHat did you think of Kunhang and Xuxi's conversation?

5. Did you like Kunhang's pov?

Come scream at me lol

Luv you beautiful human being 💜💜💜💜