Looking For His North Star

Chapter twenty one

"You're not alright," She took his hand. "Tell me what happened."

Yaman stared at their entwined hands, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. Then he raised her hand to his lips, and kissed it tenderly.

"I will tell you everything," He said, pulling her against him. "But first, let me show you how much I missed you..."

Seher's heart skipped a beat. She'd missed him too. So much. Without further words, she put her arms back around his neck.

After a while Seher came up, desperately gasping for breath.

Yaman had always been gentle with her in bed, for as long as she could remember. But tonight he seemed extra attentive, calloused hands sliding all over her body in achingly slow movements, mapping her, memorizing her, lips taking their time covering every inch of her skin with soft kisses, drawing out her pleasure almost torturously.

His fingers traced her curves, followed every loop and curl of her hair and she heard sounds coming from the back of her throat, she didn't even recognize.

By the time he was done, she was limp and exhausted and she could only lie on her side next to him, staring at his profile, while her body still throbbed with the aftershocks of their lovemaking.

"What was that?" Seher asked, when she could finally catch her breath again.

Yaman turned to her, keeping his fingers entangled in her hair.

"Even that doesn't describe how much I missed you," he said.

Seher smiled, contentedly. Then she sat up, reaching for her discarded clothes.

"Now we talk," she said. "Please, tell me what happened."

Yaman took his time, putting on his clothes. Then suddenly, he bent down and kissed her sweetly.

Seher frowned. Time for physical closeness had passed. She wanted to know what had happened to put that dark look in his eyes.

"I needed this last kiss before you'll always look at me the way you looked, when we saw each other for the very first time," He leaned back, staring out of the window at the slowly approaching dawn.

"I killed Aksak."

Seher gasped, stunned.

Yaman smiled darkly, studying her horrified expression.

"I had to. I planned everything to put him into jail for a long time, but then I realized that it wouldn't be enough," He gritted his teeth. "He said something- something about you and kids, which I will never repeat to another soul. I'll relive those words for the rest of my life. What he said, made me just...snap"

Seher pondered her emotions. There was relief there- mingled with horror and shock, but relief nonetheless. She wouldn't have to be terrified for their children's lives again, wouldn't have to worry about tall men with bloody knives haunting her dreams anymore. Then she felt guilty at being relieved.

Yaman was watching her closely.

"I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore," His voice sounded hollow. "After all, who would want to be with a murderer? If you want, I'll move out. How can you possibly love..."

His voice cracked. Then he made a move as if to get out of the bed. Seher shot out her hand and grabbed his bicep.

"What did you just say?"

His eyes looked tortured.

"Don't tell anything to the children-"

"You think I'll stop loving you, because of what you did to protect us?" Seher interrupted, with a dangerous note in her voice, which made Yaman pause. She felt tears clogging her throat, slowly.