𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 | A Top Gun Fanfiction

Chapter 16: 𝘜𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦

I bring my fists down on the table. "YOU CAN'T HELP! NO ONE CAN HELP!"

The collision reverberates throughout the room. My plate shakes, and me along with it. Both of us jiggle like jello that's been prodded. Shaking back and forth until we blur into nothing but anxious movement. That's not the only thing that blurs. Before I know it, my eyes are clouding over. Lovely blue mist swirls in my eyes. It leaves a not-so-pleasant burn. My fingernails break through the skin of my palm. I can feel my pulse beneath the tip of each digit. In the end, it's not the pain, nor the tears that pry my mouth open and force the words out –

It's Charlie's gentle hand on my back, rubbing up and down...

Up and down...

"It's all over, I've lost everything," I sob.

"Shhh, don't say that," Charlie closes her other hand over my left fist. "You can't have lost everything. You're alive. You survived that crash. You have friends –"

"Just two –"

The rubbing stops.

I blink to clear my vision and peer at Charlie.

She looks offended.

"No I meant – you're more than a friend –"

"It's ok, go on."

I swallow hard, not knowing where to start. By God's grace, Charlie is ever so patient with me. She fiddles with the strands of hair I haven't yet put up into a tight bun or ponytail and waits. Eventually, I come out with a simple and hushed, "I told him."

Charlie raises a brow. "Maverick?"

I nod, "Maverick."

"And?"

"And..." I remember how tightly he held me in his arms. How his fingers flitted across my bare skin, sending comforting tingles throughout my chest. I fit perfectly into his embrace; like lock and key. He rested his chin on my head, played with my hair, in a similar manner to how Charlie is now, only it felt so different. It felt better. I felt like the universe wasn't collapsing in on me for a few moments. I thought maybe, maybe I could stop drowning in my despair and ride the high of being with Maverick. "...and he...we..." Almost kissed. Almost. "...we sat together and then..."

"Stirrups," Charlie's tone is soft, yet chiding. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

She closes a hand over mine.

I close my eyes.

Charlie reminds me of my mother...

How she could be so stubborn, but so understanding and no matter what transpired between us, I could always run back to her in times of need.

"I wanted to kiss him," I state. "And I think...well I thought maybe he wanted to kiss me too..."

For a second, Charlie doesn't respond.

And then, "Did you?"

I don't have to say it for her to know.

Almost.

But...

No.

Charlie heaves a sigh and cups both my shoulders in her hands, massaging out the tension in a slightly rough manner. I might've cared yesterday and battered her hands off, but honestly...I just need to feel something right now. Something other than the lethal numbness creeping from my toes to my head. So I relax. I allow Charlie to pamper me. Her hands move to my hair and in no time, she's wound my heap of blonde curls into a sturdy bun. As she secures the wad of hair in place with a band, I can hear her muttering to herself. I peek open an eye, though I still can't see her from where she stands behind me, so I'm forced to ask,