Across From Me

Forty(End)

Beth was always going to remember her sister as the same person who cheered her up when no one showed up for her 8th birthday. The same person who she used to play games with every weekend and gets beaten every time. The same person who she argued with, and the same person who made her smile.

That was the worst part about losing Violet, to Beth at least. Beth had to watch as she slowly deteriorated into a shell of the person she once was, a violent and selfish shell who destroyed things for no reason. And although Violet's voice sounded insecure, like she wanted to apologize for everything, it was never said. Beth was left to wonder if it would ever be said.

Beth didn't need an apology this time. All she wanted was the old Violet back. But knowing how life usually works, that was never going to happen.

She really hoped though, she really did. That when Violet came home, she would be kind again.

Beth got up from the wall she was leaning on and sighed. She figured it was time for her to go home now. The rain had slowed, but not much. She turned and almost jumped out of her skin, as Clem was standing right there, staring at her.

"Jesus!" Beth exclaimed, gripping her backpack straps, "How long have you been standing there?"

"About five minutes."

"Really? Wow, sorry I didn't notice you," Beth replied, struggling to tell Clem what she was thinking about for over five minutes, "Just lost in thought, you know?"

Clem nodded, once again, her hood was tightly over her head, and her arms were crossed across her body, "Uh-huh," She said, "What were you thinking about?"

"Stuff and things," Beth responded vaguely, "You want to walk-"

Clem cut her off before she could finish, "No, not yet. I wanna be here with you a little longer," She said, "And maybe talk a little."

Clem sounded nervous about something, which made Beth nervous too. She thought about every possible thing that Clem could say, mostly the bad things. How Clem would say she made a mistake and she didn't actually want to be friends with Beth. Or how Beth was actually a loser and dumb and that she was messing with her the entire time. Or even tell her that she thought Beth was creepy.

"I really like you, you know?"

Well, that wasn't what Beth was expecting.

"Oh," Beth said, not really sure how to respond. She was sure that her face was a lovely hue of red right now, "Oh okay."

Clem was masking her panic with confusion, Beth saw her twitching hands, "Are you surprised?" She asked. Beth continued to focus on her hands, which were playing with a loose string on her jacket.

"No," Beth replied, "I mean, you have told me before and everything, back during our fight, I'm just surprised that you're telling me again and this directly," Beth was a little short of breath, "Well, shocked that you still like me too."

Beth had never had anyone, to her knowledge anyway, have feelings for her. She never had anyone confess they had a crush on her, and she also had never been in a relationship before. She had never thought about it anyway, she thought dating was mind-numbing in various ways. But with her heart beating the way it was now, maybe she was ready to figure it out.

"I'm confused why you would be shocked," Clem laughed, "You're very pretty, you know, you have delicate features like a princess."

Beth flushed red once more, "Thank you."

"But that isn't the only thing I like about you. You're just a great person in general," Clem explained, fully turning her body towards Beth, which was previously facing forward, "I am a stupid person sometimes, I get caught up in my feelings sometimes, and I forget about others sometimes," She surprised Beth by grabbing her hands, feeling that they were surprisingly warm, "But I never stopped missing you, especially during those periods of great loneliness. Even before I met you I would look across from me, to the window next door and I wondered who you were and if we could ever be friends," Clem stopped, tilting her head up to look straight into Beth's eyes, "And it turns out you became one of the best people I've ever met."