Vampiria: A Gender-Bending Vampire Story

7 - A Therapy Session In Which My Therapists Probably Need Therapy

Her black nails were painted with spider webs over them, completing the look. As ridiculous as the outfit was, it wasn't without a little bit of style.

'Are you people actually qualified for this sort of thing?' I asked.

'Of course not,' the doctor said cheerily. 'We have the real therapist locked in a cupboard in the other room. Don't worry, he's perfectly fine. Millie feeds him three times a day, don't you dear?'

Millie looked a little uncomfortable and started fidgeting.

The doctor sighed. 'Oh, my. Well...he'll be free soon. Unless he's already died of starvation.'

These people were insane. There was no way I was sitting down and talking with them. Who the hell were they? Before I could resist, Millie grabbed my arm and pushed me onto the couch, forcing me to lie down. She stood over me while the doctor took his place on a comfy looking chair opposite to mine.

'We'll start with introductions,' the doctor said. 'What is your name, Gavin?'

I said nothing, completely baffled. They were waiting for me to speak. It was getting uncomfortable, especially since Millie didn't look away from me and didn't blink once.

'Gavin Middleton,' I said.

The doctor scribbled something down on his clipboard before looking back at me. 'You can call me The Good Doctor,' he said. 'That's what I'm known professionally, but I also accept, The Doctor, Dr. Doctor, Doctor Who, or Craig, though that's not even my real name, I just like the sound of it. It's just like how you like to be called Gavin even though it's not a girl's name.'

The Good Doctor pointed to his assistant, who was still staring at me.

'This is my faithful assistant, Millie. Say hello to Gavin, Millie.'

'Hello to Gavin, Millie,' Millie said.

'What a jokester!' the doctor cried, though Millie's tone didn't falter and she didn't crack so much as a smile.

'Are you vampires?' I asked.

The doctor laughed again. 'Nothing of the sort, my friend! We're half-vampires!'

'How can you be half-vampire?' I asked.

'How can you be half a man?' Millie said.

'What she means to say,' the Good Doctor said, 'is that we weren't created like regular vampires, like you. You drank the blood of another, while we had a regulated dose of vampire blood injected into us. We're agents of Helsing, and we've been sent to watch over you.'

I had many preconceptions about Helsing agents. I assumed they were dark, mysterious people that worked in the shadows and were ultra-serious in everything they did. I never imagined for a second that two of the strangest people I had ever met were actually elite agents.

'I am the agency's most valued Vampologist,' the Good Doctor continued. 'Naturally, the sudden emergence of another who possesses the Vampiria gene intrigued me and I was assigned to study you. It's not common for humans to Turn, but even more uncommon for a human who possesses the gene to Turn, resulting in that individual's shift in gender.'

'So it's humans who possess the gene?' I asked.

'Yes. Vampires are a sub-species of humans, which means that everybody on the planet has a latent Vampiric gene. Ninety-seven percent of us possess what we call a basic Vamp gene, which transforms us into vampires if the blood of another vampire is drunk. Those with a Vampiria gene go through a similar transformation, only that-'

'-they're gender shifts, I figured that one out.'

'All agents of Helsing are half-vampire,' Millie said. 'To fight the threat, we must become the threat. It's the only way normally humans can do battle against vampires.'