Her Story

What have you done to me?
All I can think about is you!
I'm thirsty to know more about you. To learn all I can.
I don't want to push you away because of all the emotions that are building up inside me.
What have you done to me?
It's like having a taste of chocolate cake and having it taken from you, just as you finish putting the first bite in your mouth.
You know the flavor, but are not allowed to have any more.
Longing for more wondering if it will ever be given back to you.
Wow!
What have you done to me to have such desire in my heart for you?
I want to be the one your heart desires.
To hear your thoughts.
The sound of your voice.
To know your dreams and fears.
To be the one you turn to for all your desires.
What have you done to me?
To feel your touch,
To caress you,
To bask in the warmth of your skin.
Will you return to me?
I'll never know!
Will I have another day with you, filled with pure joy? Only time will tell!
Please tell me what have you done to me?
To loose the one thing my heart craves would be so devastating.
Though many have tried to win my heart, there is only one my heart is longing for.
Oh, what have you done to me?
Oh, what have you done to
me?

The days have passed, not to long ago, that you left in search of safety. You have collected yourself, rebuilding your soul from all the devistation.
One day at a time, reclaiming what was lost.

Many months have passed, you want to find another. You invest your time into looking. You have many opportunities. Each starting out the same. Wanting to know you, but ultimately showing their true colors. Then one day you find someone who interest your heart and soul. If only he knew how you felt inside. If only you could tell more about yourself. The short time you have with him has struck a cord in your heart. Then just like that, puff he's gone.
" Oh what have you done to me!"

Starting Over

Things in life don't always turn out the way you planned. It's hard not to get lost in someone when you are a people pleaser. I know that if you truly want to grow and learn you need to find out what excites you. As you grow you start to see it's not all about them and what they want, but more about you. Have you ever found something that's so invigorating it stimulates your soul? Start there.
Not every day will be easy. Don't beat yourself up if someday you return to your old habits. It's a process. An ever changing process.
Take time for yourself. Love yourself. Do what you need to do to make it one day at a time. As you grow you will start to see it gets easier. Then when your truly ready, that one person that will help complete your life will come. Also be aware though it might not be right away. But that's the beauty of finding yourself. You will be comfortable being with yourself or being with someone new.
Sometimes the best things you can do for yourself is find someone who can help navigate the thoughts in your head. Maybe a counselor. Maybe a good friend who won't judge you, but be there for you. Anything you can do to help find yourself again.
You are still alive. You still have so much to offer this world.
I read a poem the other day that inspired my soul.

Your Light Is Seen.
Your Heart Is Known.
Your Soul is Cherished by more people than you might imagine. If you knew how many others have been touched in a wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked. You are far more wonderful than you think you are. Rest with that. Rest easy with that. Breathe again. You are doing fine. More than fine.
Better than fine. You're doin' great. So Relax, and love yourself today.

Neale Donald Walsch

Great, right?

This story started for me because of someone I met. I truly don't know all about him as my poem states. But one things for sure the small amount of time I spent talking with him really ignited a flame in me. I realized that my healing from all of the abuse in my life has to start with me.
I can only take one step at a time. Just the same for you. One step at a time, but know this, you are not alone. There are so many other women and men, who go through the same things you are going through. Yes, men have these things happen to them as well.
Be gentle on yourself. Laugh, cry, shout. Do what you need to do to help yourself through another day.
Remember you will become that what you surround yourself with. So if you want to be strong, surround yourself with strong people. If you want to continue feeling sorry for yourself, surround yourself with people who do the same. You are the only one who decides how your life will finish out. Will you stay a victim or will you be a survivor?
I am learning one thing to be true. If you keep the victim mindset. You will attract the kind of people that will cause you to stay the victim.
But if you can switch your mindset to survivor. You will attract people who will respect you and honor your thoughts. Allowing you to be who you truly are. Beautiful from the inside and out. It's totally up to you.
My hope for you in reading "Her Story" can help you see that there is hope for you. There is light at the end of that destructive tunnel. It all starts with you. You are the one who gets to decide how your life will finish.

You've mastered survival mode.
Now it's time to live.