"Yes, I understand. You can cry. I am here."
While the rain pours outside and the cold prickles everyone's spine, I feel so much relief and warmth as I seek refuge in Ms. Daphne's comforting words. Her sincerity and gesture of love as she takes me into her arms like her own child is something I have been hoping to find from the past five years.
Her scent reminds me of my mother. The way she taps my shoulder while giving me an assurance that no matter where in the world I will go, no matter how hard the battles I will win, no matter how many miles I will sail, she is and will always be the same person I will be returning from.
How's my mom, now? How is she for all these years I turn my back on her in exchange of pursuing this uncertain love?
There are many chances I missed in this lifetime... Chances to welcome wonderful opportunities. Chances to adapt change. Chances to become a bigger and better person. Chances to renew and redeem myself from all the betrayals and failures I was buried in. Yet, it was unfortunate that my love ruins me. I have never taken even a single chance. I was governed with a choice dependent of another person's happiness. I chose this person than me. I waited for him to be happy with me while I poisoned myself in the process. And the weight of the world just crushed me in just one day together with all the strength and hope to start a new life.
"I can't do this, already!" I shared my greatest resentment and dissatisfaction on love. Regrets keep diminishing my confidence. I was not smart but reminiscing what I did made me less of a person.
"Go on. I will listen." Ms. Daphne wipes my tears. She tells me that everything will be fine. Maybe not today, but as time goes on. She, too, has her story. She's the reflection of a resilient woman. And maybe, I can be her in the future.
"If you don't mind, Ms., what went wrong?" I ask her out of curiosity.
She stares at me. I catch her off guard. I see the pain in her eyes even with the passing years. I knew she had accepted her fate already. But she can't deny that her past was miserable.
"I have never loved anyone else." She smiles bitterly. "But, I'm fine. I'm happy with what I have now."
She sits before me and tells her story.
---
"Love, I am given a new assignment."
"What's with the sudden shift, Love? I thought you will be here with us till next year."
"The area urgently needs me, Love."
"But, Love..." She insists. At least, they will be married already before he can report to his new duty. She sobs. This is a bit sudden. Their plans change for about 360 degrees.
"Sshhh... I will keep you updated day-by-day. Don't worry." He assures her that they will be okay.
"Take care of yourself, Love. Always remember, we're about to get married in 5 months." Though she strongly dislikes it, she can't do otherwise but to support him.
"I love you, Love... My thoughts will always be with you."
---
"Five months of being away from the man you love and engage to, feels like a lifetime. We had talked to each other every single day, for two months straight. He had sent me videos and pictures to quench my loneliness. I missed him. Not even an hour did I forget thinking of him. I had been getting used seeing his figure everyday. But I comforted myself in his absence. I wanted him to grow so I supported him all the way."
