Most people tend to not talk about it. We recognize the good when its good, but never seem to talk about the bad.
Its okay I guess, keeps us sane in a way.
But maybe we need to start recognizing the bad.
Recognizing that I didn't deserve this. Seeing that you promised me everything and so much more, then realizing it was a lie.
You were just like the others despite you telling me you were different. Sad thing is I believed it.
Despite all you've done, despite all the pain, despite all the tears,
I find myself missing you.
I miss waking up first thing in the morning and seeing that good morning text, you wishing me a good day.
I miss touching and feeling you, not even in the sexual way. Running my fingers up and down your arm, squeezing as hard as I can whenever we hug, feeling your thumb run against my thigh as you drive us to a no destination.
I miss your lips. Feeling them against mine, but mostly seeing the smile you form out of them.
Your laugh was beautiful, especially when it was genuine.
I miss getting to experience first times with you.
Getting high in your room then watching marvel movies was the best, finding myself smoking alone now, no longer enjoying the feeling it used to supply.
Introducing you to my family, and me to yours. Spending the important holidays, and finally experiencing my first New Year's kiss with you.
I miss our late night conversations.
I miss finally feeling like I can be myself around someone.
Planning things for the future, but now seeing them fall through really sucks.
I miss you blowing on my stomach or tickling me even though it irritated me.
I miss you saying 'I love you more'.
I miss you opening my car door for me.
Overall I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, and I hate that it had to end this way.
But ill be okay, I hope you will too.
Ill always love you.
