The Fowldom (Artemis Fowl)

St. Bartleby's

NOT an x reader!

SORRY SORRY SORRY Wattpad was acting weird for a few days---i could only comment on books and stuff, but it would load forever when i tried to publish or work on my chapters!!

Hopefully will make you laugh

Disclaimer: I own only Trey. I don't own Artemis, Holly, or you.

Suggested by @phenomenxll- thank you!! 👏

Narrator

"Have a good day today, Artemis. Remember, do NOT correct your teachers," Butler instructed. He had been informing Artemis the same piece of information every day since his English professor had shown quite well he was irritated. "Everyone should know (especially an English professor) that 'Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' is spelled with 4 n's, not 5!"

***

"Well? Did you get in trouble this time? I want to here about that again," Y/n snorted. Artemis was taking a walk with his close friend and Holly, who was flying around in the air above them. (1. Artemis being forced to get some exercise- 2. Holly covered in camo foil, obviously.)  "Of course not. I'm not-" "HEY FOWL!" someone shouted behind them. The two whirled around, facing a boy and his friends, about their age. "They go to St. Bart's?" Y/n asked quietly. Artemis gave a quick nod. "What do you want?" Y/n asked. "Not talkin' to you, stupid. 'Artemis Fowl'," the boy mocked. His dumb friends laughed as Y/n gave them a disgusted look. "You're weird," she scoffed. Artemis mentally facepalmed as the boy spat back, "At least I'm not hanging out with some stupid teacher's pet!" Y/n let out a laugh. Artemis immediately reddened. "One to talk," he muttered. Y/n's eyebrows went up. The boy rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Anyway, I need your help. I'm Trey. I'll pay you. My parents are rich anyway. If I fail this test in Algebra, I'll have to do chores. ...Can you help me?" he put out his hand, showing a $50 bill. Y/n snatched it out of his hand. "Great - it's settled! See you two in 2 hours at the library! Bye!" she said all of this very quickly and skipped down the road and out of sight as Artemis chased after her shouting threats.

2 hours later lol

"He never said he was bringing friends. This is a one-on-one Algebra p-" "It's fine, Fowl. It's for an hour. All your doing is being your Math teacher," Y/n scoffed. 

"This'll do some good, anyway, You're horrible at social interactions." (Y/n)

"I don't need people." (A)

"Yet you need fairies and butlers."

"That was and is different."

"Mhm, yeah. Including the part where you tried to steal gold and a fairy from an underground city that wasn't against you in the first place."

"But-"

"Just GO! MY GOD! And please don't try to make small talk. You're talking to three chimpanzees who probably practice roasts in front of their mirrors-"

"Apologize to the chimpanzees."

"I planned to."

And Y/n left Artemis with his problems.

Shortest time skip ever

"Basically you'll be reteaching the entire lesson. These peanut brains don't know anything," Trey snorted. His friends glanced at him. How touching. "Okay...er...well, you all know basic long division, right?" They all stared at him. "Dude, no one practices 3rd grade math anymore," one of Trey's friends narrowed his eyes. Artemis almost did a double-take. "Okay, well...then we're really starting from the beginning."

***

"I DON'T GET IT!"
"BOYS, FOR THE LAST TIME, SHHH!!"

"Sorry."

"It's. Basic. Math. You have to carry the 9 here, then do the rest of it. It's 3rd grade math."

"How is it going to help with THIS ma-"

"It just is because you need this answer for the next step, oh my g-"

"I need help, Fowl."

"Same."

"Oh my god we're still on long division."

4 hours later

"Well? How did it go?"

"I'll get you back for this. Do we have Tylenol?"

"Yeah, Butler got a whole box yesterday. I think the twins w-"

"ARTEMIS!! TOO MUCH!"

Thanks for the patience earthly devils. Honestly. I'll be yelling at Wattpad bc I had the story done (maybe except for this A/N but i swear i did)-

Next one-shot is requested from @Galaxia_Undercover ! Thank you!

Also, as you may know, my one-shots aren't very long, I hope that's okay. Next one will be out in a matter of 3-5 weeks.

ALSO, these one-shots don't have a lot of "fluff". Do ya'll want that??

THANKS EARTHLY DEVILS! (Looking at you Vera <3)
~Caitlyn