Power and Lies

Thirty- Three

"I feel as though my very bones are stretching out," Freya complained to Ada who merely chuckled at her friend. "Did this happen to you?" The swell of Freya's stomach was beginning to wear on her, and even walking was hurting. The doctor had made a house call and rather strictly prescribed bed rest, but the door was not even fully closed and Freya had donned her coat to make her way to the office.

"It happens to every woman who has a child. Now, did the doctor not tell you to rest?" Freya rolled her eyes at the woman and grunted, a sound which Ada ignored. Irritability had become Freya's main mood in the last few weeks, and although Ada did love her friend, she had grown a bit tired of the complaints. "If you do not rest-"

"What? If I do not rest, what? Will you be telling Tommy?" The jest was made in good nature, but Freya did realize her tone was a bit sharper than the conversation necessitated. Tommy had been gone for the last three days, leaving Freya in pain and totally alone while he tended to horses in another city. A foreign feeling of bitterness threatened to choke her at the thought. She was tired of being stuck here with her swollen ankles and abdomen. The thought of another two weeks like this was enough to sour her mood completely. Enduring her pregnancy had, until recently, been achievable. But, after eight months of calm, the last two weeks had been pure hell. And she felt on an island all her own.

Polly had been busy navigating the channels necessary to find her remaining son with the information that Tommy had given her, and avoiding bringing up any facts about her son to the others. She imagined a peaceful life for her boy, and for that Freya certainly could not fault her. Ada and the others had been busy moving different things to different people, making business deals in dark corners and coming up to creative solutions to simple problems. All of which Freya was blatantly barred from.

"You know that he would not approve of you not listening to the doctor."

"Yes, well, I imagine Tommy does not approve of anything." Ada sighed and poured herself a small glass of whiskey, something that Freya could still taste in her memories if she concentrated hard enough.

"It is hard in the last month Freya. Everything is awful and heavy, and you just want it to be over. But then when it is, how desperately you'll wish it was not." Freya highly doubted such a sentiment could be true and nearly laughed out loud at her friend, but the dreamy far away look told her that Ada was back in her memories of her own pregnancy.

Freya simply left after that, sensing any and all conversations were over anyway, and she was not particularly fond of giving the upcoming birth any more of her attention than what it had already demanded. She felt lost as a person sometimes, nothing more than a vessel for the next Shelby to coo over. She was simply a cook carrying the oven.

She found herself wandering, eventually making her way towards her old home where she had started this life, carried by feet who had not forgotten the path. It looked dreadful now, the window was shattered and the frame hung loosely in the air. Not that home had been any real charmer when she lived there, but to see the ruins did strike a bit of emotion up within her. She did not miss Lee in any regard, a fact that used to haunt her, but she did thank him. His own wrongdoings certainly were the cause of her unbelievable happiness in the end, although the road there was marred with blackmail, blood, and hurt.

She paused for a while, staring at the building and trying her best to ignore the young men following her on Tommy's orders, her memories running adrift before finally a cough broke her from her trance. The younger of the men approached her carefully, his walk slow. "Excuse me ma'am," he practically whispered. She wondered if they thought her the same as her husband, if she too shared a cruel streak within her. But truthfully, she had let the cruelty die off, and whatever darkness she and Tommy shared had been shoved very far within the recesses of her mind.

"What is it?"

"Tommy said to have you back no later than midday ma'am. Before he left, that is."

"I do not see Tommy here, do you?" The boy shrank back, missing the lightness to her tone. She tried to smile at him, show him that she was not being crass, but the very pull on her muscles was exhausting and in the end she just stared.

"I am sorry. It is just he said-"

"Do not worry, I'll go with you." She told the boy who audibly sighed in relief. She imagined none of the boys were even old enough to have families yet, and did not know yet how to navigate a disagreement with a woman, let alone a pregnant one. "I was done here anyway."

On the drive home she wondered to herself if she would ever show her child the place she came from, with its failing exterior and grimy street corners. Or would she give her child the upbringing of a high society member, the one that she had, at least in part, been given. It was all so confusing at its core and the questions were ceaseless. Would this child be successful? Would it be loved by everyone? Would this child end up like its parents? The questions did not stop rolling through her mind like rampant storm clouds. She had been grateful for the boys being willing to drive, for now she rested her head, for the weight of her thoughts was far too heavy to hold.

When she was back within the familiar halls of her home she traveled the halls without energy, looking desperately for a place comfortable enough to sleep for a bit. She did not wish to sleep in her bed without Tommy, and the nursery only sported a crib, although the idea of crawling into it did cross her mind momentarily. She found herself slumping down onto the floor in the hallway eventually, unwilling to walk any further, and the last of her energy completely left. She was not surprised at all when the darkness rose up and claimed her, sliding her eyes closed into slumber, right there on the floor.