ALMOST UNFIXABLE.

041c - Repressing The Past

"Dawn, are you online?" She cut my greeting off, her voice panicky and frantic. If there was still any trace of sleep in my eyes, it vanished at the intensity of Hilary's voice. She sounded extremely scared and it made me worry.

Did something happen?

"Online?" I repeated in question. "I'm not online. I've not gone online today. It was your call that woke me up." I told her. I heard her heave a sigh on her head, sounding relieved that I haven't gone online.

"Good," She said. "Don't come online, Dawn. Please don't go to the group chat. In fact, don't even put on your data." She said - no - begged me. That put me on edge, made me more worried and confused than I already was.

What's going on? I shifted uncomfortably on my bed.

"Hilary, what is going on?" I asked, voicing out my thoughts. "What happened?"

"Just don't come online," She maintained and I swallowed "And once you get to school, call me immediately and wait for me in the garden. Don't enter the school block, Dawn. I'm begging you. Please, do not enter the school block." She ordered me, but also sounded like she was desperately pleading with me.

That only plunged me deeper and deeper into confusion and worry.

"Okay," I didn't know what else to say, I just answered her like that.

None of us said anything for a moment but I stayed on the call, hearing Hilary's heavy breathing indicating that she was agitated. My heart began to beat rapidly against my chest, feeling unease wash over me in waves.

What was all this about? Did something happen to Hilary? or Semeeha? or Kizito?

Or was this about me?

My heartbeat accelerated at that simple thought and a cold chill ran down my spine. Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong.

"Dawn," Hilary called softly as if to know if I was still on the phone call with her.

"Yes," I answered, urging her to speak.

"You are going to be okay, I promise," She whispered.

Ahh, Wahala!

I was now beyond terrified. This was definitely about me.

What is all this for God's sake?

"Hilary, what-" The line went beep in my ear, signaling that she had hung up.

I took the phone away from my ear and stared at it like it just pooped on me, my chest rising and falling from heavy breathing. I had to stop myself from putting on my data and finding out myself. Hilary said I shouldn't come online, I won't go online.

But it still didn't dissipate the worry and slight fear that ravaged my being.

God abeg. God abeg.

That's what I kept saying as I entered the bathroom to shower. When I was dressing up in my school uniform, I was still chanting it like an incantation. Even when I was done dressing up and came down from my room to the dining to meet my family having breakfast, I was still chanting it.

God abeg. God abeg.

I didn't eat.

Even when mum tried to persuade me to have something in my stomach, I still insisted that wasn't eating. The unease and fear had filled me up completely and swallowed me whole that I wasn't hungry one bit. I haven't yet found out what was happening and I was like this.

What then will happen when I find out?

We got to school in no time and I was about to dash out of the car to race to the garden where my friends were already waiting for me.