𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑹 ⤶ 「 𝑲𝑵𝒀 𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑫𝑬𝑹𝑵 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹 」

You Turn Into An Old Man

You sheepishly stepped from behind Urokodaki, stifling a wave of laughter. "Luckily.. I didn't turn into an old man over the past few weeks."

Urokodaki glowered at Zenitsu, crossing his arms as a form of intimidation. "Excuse me?"

Zenitsu immediately bowed at a full ninety degree angle; you could've sworn he was about to piss himself. "AH!! S-SIR.. I WAS JUST KIDDING!!"

"No you weren't, dipshit," Sōta deadpanned.

"Oh— it's this guy," Eli started, setting his focus on Urokodaki. "Shit.. what was his name, again?"

Your lips curled into a mischievous smirk. "Oh, you forgot?" You stifled a giggle. "His name is Shitty Trousers— well, it's his nickname."

Eli nodded, just before he fully turned to Urokodaki. "Hey, it's nice to see you again, Shitty Trousers! It's been a while since I last saw you. Sorry about crop-dusting your cottage."

It was obvious that Urokodaki was reaching his last straw—you could tell by the sharp intake of breath he took.

"What the hell.. did you just say to me?" Urokodaki hissed, taking a step toward Eli.

Eli widened his eyes, taking a few steps backwards. "Isn't that.. your nickname? Shitty trousers? I don't see.. what the problem is—"

"HUGH?! WHY MUST YOU INSULT UROKODAKI-SAN?!" Tanjirou cried out, completely panicked.

You placed your hand on Urokodaki's shoulder, doubling over from your laughter.

Meanwhile, Eli was frozen with horror—his gaze flicking between you and Urokodaki. "W-WAIT!! I WAS SET UP!! SHE— I'M SO SORRY— AGH!"

Sōta punched him upright on the head, just before he bowed before Urokodaki. "I apologize for Hugh's behavior, sir! He's idiotic, stupid, impulsive, annoying, childish and egotistical—"

"WHY THE HELL IS THE LIST SO LONG?! STOP LYING, YOU HYPOCRITE— OW, FUCK!"

Sōta pinched Eli's ear in retaliation. "SHUT UP, HUGH!" He then turned back to Urokodaki, clearing his throat. "Anyways.. I apologize."

"OH, A NEW CHALLENGER!?" Inosuke approached Urokodaki, carefully scanning him. "BUT WILL HE BE ABLE TO BEST LORD INOSUKE, GOD OF THE MOUNTAINS?!"

Tanjirou promptly yanked him back by the collar, gritting, "Cut it out, Inosuke!"

You stepped forward, "Oh wait— yeah, you guys haven't been introduced yet!" You grinned, "Everybody, meet Dad! Wait— oops, Urokodaki! He's—!"

"HUH?! HE'S YOUR FATHER?!" Zenitsu screeched, just before he knelt down on a single knee. "Sir, it'd be an honor if I could take your daughter's hand in marriage—"

You sighed, rolling your eyes. Of course, Zenitsu would pull something like this.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," You shook your head. "He trained Tanjirou and I! He's not my biological father, but I like to think of him as my second one. He saved me from a demon, and took me under his wing."

Still restraining Inosuke by his collar, Tanjirou hummed. "Yeah, Urokodaki-san trained us for final selection! We trained with him for about two years."