DISCONTINUED reincarnated into the jojoverse [vento aureo x reader]

extras extras

so um i found silly but old chapters from when you where supposed to stay with the La Squadra Esecuzioni. yeah congrats you get to read them. they haven't been edited or proofread so read with caution.

001 - cuddles with the rice

"You motherfucker." Ghiaccio seethed.

"That's right, I fucked your mother." I informed him sassily.

"YOU BITCH."

I almost died at the icy hands of a Bakugo (but far worse) when a miracle saved me from eternal damnation. There was no way in hell I was getting into Heaven, especially after blowing up my former principles boat with a Molotov cocktail; even stole the wine bottle for it from a gas station.

The miracle, by the way, was Pros thwacking Ghia in the head with a fucking metal pole.

"Where did you find that?" I asked Prosciutto, gesturing to the dirtied pole in his hand. Ghiaccio lay on the floor, blood pooling around his skull.

"Basement." He answered indifferently.

"The fuck?"

"Why the hell is Ghiaccio unconscious and bleeding from the head?" Risotto asked, appearing from nowhere.

"Pros saved me from eternal damnation."

"What?"

"Hell."

"...Just get him to stop bleeding and I won't have to make you do chores for a week."

"Hey! I'm not the one who gave him a fucking concussion!" I jabbed a finger at the guilty party, Prosciutito. Risotto's lips pressed into a hard line.

"Yeah, but you provoked him didn't you?" He dryly said.

I placed a hand on my chest and gave him my rebuttal, "In my defense, his mother's probably super hot."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"Theoroetically, I fucked his mother." I nodded.

"I should've let him kill you." Prosciutto sighed, disappointment airing in his voice.

"Hey!"

The house was significantly quieter now that Ghiaccio almost died and still hadn't woken up. Risotto made me heal him but also ordered me to not wake him up. Not a very odd request to be honest, nobody really wants to listen to him screech his head off about the pronunciation of 'Arkansas' and 'Kansas' and how it's 'complete bullshit'. I definitely regret pointing that out to him along with telling him that the 's' in 'Illinois' is silent.

Now, I was mindlessly playing Subway Surfers, somehow getting a score of one million at one point and I was getting bored... and cold. I glanced over to where Risotto sat, reading a book. The title was unfamiliar so I didn't really give a shit about it, but now... maybe.

"Scooch over, Metal Man." I ordered Risotto as I stood in front of his chair where he was. His ghoul eyes peeled away from his book and looked at me, only to raise an eyebrow.

"Why would I do that?" I frowned at his response, his face unmoving.

"Please?" I asked, giving him puppy-dog eyes. It seemed to work because he sighed before scooting over to the side as much as he could. I kept my cheers internal as I took a seat next to the buff man. To get more comfortable, he wrapped an arm around me as I laid my head against the side of his boobies and got comfy.

"What cha readin'?" I asked.

"(boring ass book name), why? Are you interested?"

"Hell no, sounds like a boring ass book." I scoffed. I could feel Risotto roll his eyes at this.