The night took the wrong path

Chapter 05

It seemed that life had returned to normal and that what had happened with those two policemen had been nothing more than a horrible nightmare. They never heard from them again, Carlos did not see them at the police station for the next few days, and the fear of finding them in the parking lot again because they wanted to scare him some more was disappearing.

Once again he felt comfortable at the police station; it was once again a second home and this was soon noticeable in his mood. The nightmares gradually became more and more sporadic and the feeling that he was being watched at all times gave way to the idea that they had grown tired of him.

Maybe those despicable people had found someone new to have fun with, and Carlos felt bad for not wanting to know where they were and what they were doing, or who they were paying for their boredom with.

But everyone had told him to let it go for a few days, to get away from it.

"You have to breathe," the psychologist his father recommended had told him. "Until you can get through a whole day without thinking about what they did to you and you can close your eyes and take a deep breath and let your mind go blank, you're not going to be ready to deal with them."

"Those people need to go to jail or at least be out of the police."

"And you're absolutely right, Carlos, but if you came here today it's because you have a problem to solve. Could you stand in front of them and report them, sure that they can't do anything to you?"

"It doesn't matter what happens to me."

"And what about your boyfriend? TK, right? Are you sure that pointing them out and bringing to light the kind of people they are and what they've done to you wouldn't endanger TK in any way?"

Carlos couldn't answer that question, because he actually knew the answer perfectly well. He wasn't going to do anything as long as he thought TK was in any danger and now, until those people ended up in jail, saying out loud what they had done to him or how they had threatened him put TK in the spotlight.

"I feel like those bastards have taken away my freedom to be myself. It bothers them that I'm a gay Latino man, in love and happy. I'm a problem for them, my presence in front of them is a threat."

"And you yourself feel, in part, guilty."

At first, Carlos said he didn't, he even felt like getting angry and yelling because he was very clear that no one should feel that way. "No one should feel guilty for being who they are."

"You're right, Carlos, but you're the first one who doesn't believe it when you say it. When you do, only then will you notice that you're back in control of your own life."

Hearing a stranger tell him just what he needed to hear made him realize that he himself was endangering TK by letting those guys control his life. The only way to protect TK was to face the situation, face the fear no matter how great and terrible it was, and take matters into his own hands.

It was another matter entirely when he would be able to get his assailants in front of him and say in front of a judge or whoever was necessary what they had done to him.

As they always say, acknowledging it was the first step. Doing something about it was quite another.

However, having spent only two sessions with Dr. Trante, but being able to tell someone else what had happened was already a big step, and TK had noticed it in the little things.

It had been a few days since he had heard Carlos laugh and his smiles those days had lost the light that TK knew. When they had the chance to sleep together, he knew exactly the moment when the nightmare would come. He would feel Carlos's body when he started to shake, he would cling to him, and when TK started to hear him sobbing, it would take a long time to calm him down.