Petal [h.s.]

THIRTY-TWO - PINK IN THE NIGHT

I looked at him now as he rode his bike behind me, studying him. He smirked when he saw me look back. He looked so yummy, like my dream boy, and I wanted him more than ever. My heart hadn't stopped racing ever since I climbed over the railing and onto his balcony earlier tonight.

"Only if you promise not to cry when I beat you." He replied and I laughed loudly, putting on the brakes so we could start from the same spot.

"I promise, by the end of the night, you'll be the only one who has done any crying." I smirked at him, to which he playfully rolled his eyes, "To the wharf?"

"On the count of three?" He asked, smiling brightly as he put one foot on a pedal, the other on the wood of the boardwalk.

"1..." I said, lifting my eyebrows to him.

"2..." He smiled, his eyes on me as I turned to look at the empty boardwalk ahead.

"3!" I called out and then took off, laughing loudly as we began to pedal faster and faster, each of us trying to get to the wharf first.

I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. The wind whipped the loose strands of my hair around and I realized I had never felt so free and wild in my life. Everything about this night was perfect and I didn't want to think about it ending. What started as me looking for a distraction from my sadness quickly turned into more. Harry turned into more.

I went to his place tonight with the full intention of sex only. That was it. I decided I'd let myself have him but only if it was sexual and nothing more. And then I saw him through the glass of the balcony door. I watched him for longer than he knew. I watched him try to read a book and try to distract himself. I watched him huff and puff and look over at the balcony for me a million times. I watched his impatience grow as he waited for me to appear and I watched the excitement on his face when he finally saw me.

This was quickly becoming much more than I ever thought it would be. I felt like I was losing control of the situation, but instead of being worried about that-I just felt free.

"You cheated!" Harry called out to me as I reached the wharf first, slamming on the brakes and then riding around in a slow circle to face him.

"Cheated how?! We left at the same time!" I laughed, shaking my head and trying to catch my breath.

"You distracted me! You know I'm obsessed with you. I'm your puppy, you thought I'd be able to focus on a race with you right there in front of me? Never." He huffed out dramatically, also breathing heavily.

I laughed again, eyeing him as I let the bike glide around him in a big circle, "I think you're just a sore loser."

"That, too. But mostly it's just being enthralled with you." He said quietly, smiling brightly at me.

He reached up and pulled the pink beanie off his head, shaking out his sweaty, matted down hair. I couldn't stop staring at him. I had looked at him a thousand times but for some reason, tonight, I felt like I was really seeing him. I felt like he was really seeing me.

"Harry?" I said quietly, swallowing harshly as he looked at me, pulling the beanie back on.

"Yes, petal?" He replied, smiling as his eyes moved over my form, "You look so pretty. Did I tell you that?"

"You did." I laughed again, shaking my head, "Harry..."

His eyes sparkled for me. The words suddenly got lost in my throat, the fear of saying them out loud to him taking over. How could I tell him? How do I say it? I want to be with you. Please leave her for me. We could be so happy.

I couldn't. He wouldn't leave her and I couldn't handle that rejection. This was sex, it was just sex, it didn't matter that his eyes lit up when they saw me. It didn't matter that we knew each other's darkest corners. It didn't matter that my heart burst into flames every time he was near me. We were destined for heartbreak if we both didn't get a grip on our feelings. I had to have self control.