The Controlled vs. The Uncontrollable

Introduction

Chapter notes :

I don't know why I decided to write this all of a sudden. Most of the stories I've tried to write, no matter how much I have fallen in love with the idea of them, never seem to go anywhere. But here I am. Trying again. Maybe this time I'll stick with it.

Before we start, there are some big triggers I should throw out there. There will be talk and actions of abuse. There will be talk about drug deals and trauma. If I keep up with each chapter and write this story how I want, I will do my best to make sure trigger warnings are there at the beginning of each chapter.

If I ever write something that is very misguiding or very off from the truth, please call me out. I will change it and do better to learn from all your thoughts and ideas. Anyways! Now that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy this. I love you all. Thank you. ❤️

- Izzy

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"I wish you could see the way you've changed. The way you don't glow like you used too. The way you don't laugh like you once did. I don't know you like I once thought I did. Maybe that's because I never really knew you at all."
- IP

It's a funny thing, memory. It's very pick and choose but sometimes, it doesn't even give you a choice. You can remember what a stranger said to you once on the side of the road waiting for a bus, but not remember what you ate for breakfast that day. You can remember all of the bad things people have done to you but not remember the good memories that once captivated you to another. Sometimes however, you don't know you forgot a person until they are sitting right next to you, waiting for you to ask the question that has been stuck in your throat for hours...

What happened?

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Song : Saturn - Sleeping at last

January 12

It feels like it's been snowing for eternity. The ground is covered in a think layer of white that's suffocating to even look at. The fall started slow. It was a kind of calm that made everything in the world feel as though it was standing still. That even if the simplest of things breathed, the world would erupt into chaos. For Louis however, part of him always loved chaos.

He's driving down a long winding road, snow covering absolutely everything in sight that the road itself looks one with the trees. He used to love it. Love the idea that with snow, everything else disappears. That with the cold, the world went quiet. Now however, he is just so fucking sick of it.

"Why can't we live somewhere warm? I'm so bloody sick of the snow. It's cold and makes everything wet and honestly, I've had enough of all this white shit fogging up my windows." Louis complains, hands firm on the wheel in case black ice under the snow decides to join the party.

"Mate. This is literally the first big snowfall we have had all year. Remember when it was the day before your birthday and all you could do was pout about how there wasn't any snow you could jump in?" Niall's voice carries through the speakers of the car, it is the only thing besides the rush of wind and snow that is able to be heard.

"Yeah and nothing fucking came of that did it, Ni?" Louis sighs dramatically. "Snow is only good for Christmas and my birthday. Other than that, it can go fuck right off."

"Whatever you say. Mother Nature is it's own kind of power. She definitely won't listen to your whiny ass." He can hear Niall drop a glass into the sink and it shatter, a slightly muted 'fuck!' coming through.

"Well maybe if she did listen to me, the world would be a happier and lovelier place. Now I should go so you can clean up whatever fucking mess you just made and I can focus on not driving off the road into a ditch."