i'm scared growing up
i'm scared of the day i can drive away
i'm scared of the days i'll forget
i'm scared to be truly alone
but i also crave it so much it drives me insane
i crave the wind in the windows of my car
listening to indulgent tunes
i crave creating memories to tell
and forgetting them to make something grand
i crave falling away
and letting go
i crave to be alone
alone
alone
no housemates
no neighbours
no streets
no towns
just me
just
me
just me
just me and my head and my body
thoughts and emotions and scars and flesh
i'm scared of myself
i'm scared of the cravings
of the wants and not the needs
but i do not let them go
i let them stay
hidden in the very back pocket
for my final day
