The Choice (a Painful Past)

28

"Hey, baby." Will said, meeting me, as I stepped out of my truck.

I had just gotten home from school, which was the only time that I wasn't around Will. Somehow, he was pretty much living here now.

My mom was always trying to save the kids, but damn, did it have to be him? Not that I didn't love him, or anything like that. I just wanted a little bit of time by myself, or just away from him.

"Hey." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug.

"Did you have a good day at school? I wish you didn't have to go. I miss you every day." He said, his words muffled against my neck, as he hugged me.

"Yeah, it was okay. Just school." I replied, ignoring the last couple of sentences he had said.

"So, you know what today is right?" He asked.

I nodded and smiled, happy that he had remembered.

"I do." I replied, shyly.

His smile got wider.

"So, 3 months is a big deal, yeah? I think we should do something to celebrate." He said, before he nipped my neck with his teeth.

I bit my lip to keep from shrieking.

"We should." I agreed, while I was trying to think of what surprise he might have for me.

"I'm so glad you agree." He replied, as he leaned back to smile down at me, softly.

"So, what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"Well...I was thinking that we could do something that would prove our love to each other." He said.

I waited for him to finish. Instead, he just held my gaze and bit his lip nervously.

"Oh my God, what is it?" I asked, as the building anticipation got to me.

"Okay, but don't answer me without thinking about it." He replied. "I think that we should mark our three month anniversary, by taking our relationship to the next level. We're both virgins, but I mean, we've done literally everything else." He let his words hang in the air, while my mouth dropped open in shock.

Of course, I had thought about having sex with him, but I didn't think I was ready.

"I just want to show you how much I love you, Callie. Will you let me do that?" He said quietly, after a moment of silence.

"Um." I stammered. "I-I don't know if I'm ready for that. It's just that, sex is a big step, and we're only 16, and we've only been dating for 3 months. I just don't think I'm ready."

His eyes flashed with annoyance, but it disappeared quickly. "I don't want to be with anyone else, Callie. Just you. For the rest of my life. I just want to be able to show you how much. Please." He said, looking at me with that sad puppy dog look.

Damn it.

"I'll think about it." I replied, already feeling nervous about the situation.

He looked disappointed but nodded.

"Okay...but don't keep me waiting too long."

I smiled and nodded. I didn't know how to have this conversation. I wasn't ready and I knew that.

Why couldn't everything else we were doing just be enough? I was only 16 and I had been raised to wait until marriage. I mean, I loved Will, and maybe we would get married one day, but I still had to go to college and figure out my own life, before any of that happened.

I had plans for my life, and it didn't include staying in this small ass fucking town.

Will went to spend the night with Dustin that night, so I had a free night at home. Usually, I would be trying to hang out with Sherri, Kat, and my other friends, but I hadn't really hung out with them in a couple of months. They didn't even ask me anymore, because I always said no.

It wasn't because I didn't want to. It was just that, every time they asked me, I had either made plans with Will already, or he would get annoyed when I told him that I wanted to go with them. He said that it made him feel like I was choosing them over him and I didn't want him to feel that way.

I had fallen even deeper in love with him. He always knew exactly what to say to make me feel good about myself. He made me feel loved, and sexy even.

So, I didn't want him to feel like I didn't absolutely love him. He was number one in my heart.

I remembered a conversation that I had with my mom about a week ago.

"Sweetie, you know I love you, right?" She started.

I nodded and narrowed my eyes.

"Are we about to have a talk?" I asked, grinning a little bit.

She smiled back, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Yes, we are. I noticed that you're spending all of your free time with Will." She replied.

I nodded slowly, already feeling defensive.

"Sooo?" I asked.

"So, what about your other friends? You used to spend time with them. A lot of time. What about Derek? You even walked down to his house, or he'd walk down here. I haven't seen him in ages." She said.

"I see him at school, Mom." I answered. "I talk to them all, at school."

She nodded, but I could see that she wasn't done. "I know that, Honey...but you used to spend time with them outside of school. You don't spend time with anyone, but Will, now. I know you love him, but I don't think that's healthy. You're so young..." She let her words trail off, as she held my gaze.

"I'm not that young." I replied, noticing that my voice had hardened. "I'm not your baby girl anymore. I'm 16. It's normal to spend time with my boyfriend. Sherri and Kat spend time with their boyfriends."

"Watch your tone." She called me down.

I sighed and looked away.

"They might spend time with their boyfriends, but they also spend time together. I know they do, because your Aunt Minnie told me that Katherine was over there a couple of weeks ago."

Really? I hadn't known that. Of course, I didn't know much of anything about what they did anymore.

I only hung out with them at lunch, and most of the time, I was just texting Will. He knew when I went to lunch, so he would always text me and ask how my day was going. I saw Mitch, Johnny, and Derek too, of course, but we didn't talk much.

It was normal to grow apart from your friends though, right? My heart twisted a little, when I thought of that. I did miss them...but I knew that Will wouldn't want me hanging out with the guys.