Strings of Sin

Chapter 5

"The more dragons who die to your claws, the more the interval broadens. The more you lose connection to this earth, the easier it becomes to execute, the more your actions influence others and the more your choices matter. But the..."

The message was still incomplete, and he may never be able to decipher the end of the warning. But what did the rest of the message stand for? He was still not intact to his nature; he was not able to grasp the concept of the reality the message tried to inform him of. Perhaps he would never be aware enough to realize the truth behind the message. Was it really worth getting rid of his greatest challenge in life? Even if he didn't fully understand the consequences of Desolation, was it still worth using it to take a life because it was the right choice? Or at least he thought it was the right choice because it felt so, so right!

At the moment, his desires overpowered his rationality, and he loathed to abandon all sense of logical thinking. He wanted justice for all his father's sins! So many wrong things his father did that needed to be righted, so much mistreatment that needed to be confronted, and there was no more running away from destiny's demands! Murder was his only desire! It was the right choice because it felt so, so right!

And he took back all of his fears and transformed his anxious energies into a straight beam of light within his soul and grasped the dark handle of the trident with desperate talons. He wanted to scream, he wanted to know fear, he wanted to desire and loathe once more, but the trident's power was more mature than his connection to his nature. The trident knew more than he knew about himself, and it seemed to whisper efficiencies into his gullible, imperfect mind. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing could describe the amount of pain and suffering he endured and would endure. What was this destiny now? Was it a desire all along? It was no longer feeling so, so right, but it now felt so, so wrong!

"Not yet! Too soon! You can't change the past! What have you done! Kill yourself! Rip out your guts and watch them spill blood! Tear your face from your skull and watch the blood drip off of your sinful flesh! Please, no more suffering! Spare your soul from the burdens of life! Help me! I want to leave this Earth without regret! I am now I, and this isn't my mind anymore! This is the singular entity of perfection that connects all other deathless beings in my mind! What do I possess now? Stop asking questions!"

"If I were to kill myself, that would be inconsistent with the plan of nature's extinction, so I must not flee this Earth alone! Others must come with me! Others must die to fulfill their greatest purpose in life! I must kill them all because that is the perfect world we dream of! We don't know our truest desires yet, and now I finally understand what that is!"

"Make it stop!"

"AAARRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

It hurts! I don't want to kill anybody anymore! I never desired to! I don't want to live in this world! Why is this so true and painful! Why is my speech so slow and inconsistent! I don't want to suffer! I don't want any more pain! Please, stop..."

And he closed his eyes again and crashed down to the floor, letting the trident slip out of his talons.

***

"My desires got in the way of reality, and my loathing distracted me from my philosophies. I will never let my emotional nature take control again and urge me forward. It was never the right time, and destiny will know when it is the right time to urge me forward. I still don't understand society, and I know not to trust my father's efficient ideas. Living in a society where everyone is perfect would only be an unhappy society, so maybe society is okay just the way it is."