1 million, 25 thousand, 1 hundred and 9... point 8. Those numbers make up the amount of words in the English language. Now I'm betting my inheritance you did not know that did you sir? Oh and sir don't think I'm just saying that because of your ' temp status' and obvious severe lack of basic knowledge.. for reals, I have the utmost respect for the uneducated, and I am more than sympathetic to the oppressions you must be up against as a substitute student councillor, I mean regular councillors are already at the bottom of the food chain, as is, but to be substitute? The Wow. Sir, I applaud your unappreciated efforts. I can only imagine your endless struggles- to no avail of course to climb that social hierarchy. What? Of I feel fine, sir thanks for asking, um no I'm not any drugs, sir My point sir is that you shouldn't feel intimidated or be bugging out that you are far less intelligent than a 17 year old cheerleader. Truth is I pride myself on my ability to memorise extensive amounts of useful trivia. For reals - you can ask me anything! I even know every single American president by name and chronological order- well, the hot ones anyway- just ask me anything about JFK. I don't know how I retain all these facts, I guess my brain is just like bottomless well of smart.. No sir, I, I told you fine... I'm fine, super fine. tres bien!
Oh , you want me to share my thoughts? Totally, im an open book, what's troubling? Like specifically?
Well, it just seems like I've got so many questions in my life, that just aren't being answered, and I'm starting to think will I ever get an answer?
, which begs the question, can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Also, can I class it as ironic that the alphabet isn't spelt in alphabetical order? Is that irony? Omg, maybe the alphabet isn't even that order at all, sir, I think we've been duped. I blame the government. And something else that's been troubling me, I just don't understand counsellor practices, I mean how can there be self help groups?
Sir, you look confused. Ugh im sorry, I forgot, you had one of those public school educations, didn't you?
I'm sorry, did I use too many big words?
Aw, you probably don't even know what vegetarian means don't you?
And sir, don't be embarrassed they were probably just more concerned about teaching self defence methods in your part of the ghetto.
I am.. I am taking this 110% serious. I am cooperating!
Shoot, ask me anything, how am I really feeling?
Sir, I don't know why you're not getting this, I am fine! I am so fine, ive never been finer, I was fine when you asked me the last time and you know what? Im still fine okay, I mean I told you in French, I don't know how much clearer I could have been okay I am fine! FINEH, BUENO, POST-EH-RR-EMOH, FUHNYEA, TRES BIEN, I AM FINE
Just because you've got laminated certificate on your wall and a badge on your shirt, It doesn't give you the right to know my thoughts and feelings, that shits a privilege, and I don't know you.
Wait, light bulb, you know what would make this game fun? Instead of analysing me, I analyse you!
No no, lets do this, you sit there talking down to me, treating me like an idiot, but I don't think I don't see things. You wanna hear the hard truth? You really wanna know what I think?
Okay, I think you're the sad one. Well, if it wasn't obvious enough by your attire, I mean sir, you're a middle aged man who looks like he's wearing thrift shop clothing, and no, not the hipster/ indie kind.
Secondly, your obviously a workaholic, I mean do ever go home, saying that, I do kind of understand, I mean, if my daughter looked like that, god I wouldn't want to go home to that either. I mean, truthfully speaking I really did think at first that she was some stray dog, you'd taken in for charity, but then I just realised, you're just one of those super weird families that put leashes on their kids.
Sir, please don't interrupt me I'm not done. Now this photo here's intriguing because, not I'm assuming this is your wife next to you, now what grabs my attention is that you're both wearing wedding rings, in this photo.. but you aren't now. I have two theories. Now the first and most obvious is that you're divorced. She divorced you obviously, probably for someone who earns more than, lets be real 30 grand a year? And you know grooms himself. Or my second theory... she's dead ah. Jackpot./ bingo
Well. No offence to the obviously delusional teachers of this school who thought it would be beneficial for my health to sit here and endure all this, but I don't think I actually need some borderline alcoholic slash homeless persons slash degenerate sit here and talk to me about my problems when its painfully obvious he can't even deal with his own.
Um, can you not yell at me? sir, im not yelling at you. Oh I'm immature, please I am so not in denial, okay, I know what happened,
believe it or not, I am aware of the situation. OMG I am not lashing out! Okay you know what? Screw this, you want me to cooperate fine., lets talk.,
