WattMagazine[2015] Issue #2

• The Rants

Hey everybody, it's Allysa here, back to annoy you with another RANT!! Last time, my rant was super mega short, and wasn't beating my rant partner and bff, Keiko Mina, so here I am trying to beat her! Keiko if you bother to read this, watch out, my rant will be longer and more amazing than yours!

(I wish...T^T Keiko's too good of a writer, she'll always beat me. Go and check her account out @keikomina )

I'm gonna start this before I drag out my amazing introduction...

~*~*~

#IjustwenttothemallandnowIhaveGuccishoesanybodywanttoshareactuallynotheyremine

Hashtags. They're fun, sure, but when you put a hashtag like the one on top, a little guitar string in me goes CLUNK SNAP SWIIISH and technically breaks. (Like my onomatopoeia? XD)

I mean seriously. Sentences were made for a reason! Hashtags are meant to be one to three words, not one hundred in a line!

I understand #beach, #mall, #makeover but really? Is "I just went to the mall and now I have Gucci shoes anybody want to share actually no they're mine" really necessary as a hashtag?

You can just say it nice and blandly, flower write it if you're bothered but please, PLEASE do not out it in a hashtag. It just pisses people off, #me. <--- See what I did there? Only one word. ONE word.

I'll give you some hashtags that I've seen around the world wide web.

#myboyfriendjustbrokeupwithme

#everybodysucksImthequeenbee

#lookatmyvanstheyrebrandnewandlimitededition

#IjustgotticketstotheEdSheeranshowIhaveoneextrawhowantstocome << Okay that's not really one, but if it was...smh.

Like seriously, when a word in your hashtag has an apostrophe in it, you obviously leave it out. Leaving it out equals bad grammar. Bad grammar equal angry little girl- I mean Allysa. Angry Allysa.

Another thing about it, pretty much with all of them, you can just say it in your gosh bæ caption! Like "My boyfriend just broke up with me :'("

It sounds more sincere, right? In a hashtag, it literally sounds sarcastic.

Okay, okay, I think you guys get it. This is gonna be a 3-in-1 rant just to let you know. ;)

So rant 1 is finished....sorta.

What are hashtags commonly associated with? Do you know? Yes? No? Maybe?

......hello?

....fine I'll just tell you...

It's...

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SELFIES!!

Everybody loves selfies. I'm guilty :P

Most selfie addicts in this world put hashtags on their selfie, sometimes relevant, sometimes irrelevant.

When it's irrelevant....it pisses me off. Like seriously, you take a selfie of you eating ice cream and then the hashtag on it is; #Ihaveexamstomorrow

If your caption was "binge eating because stressed af 😁😁" Then yes. I will let you off. If it isn't then....seriously bro. Nobody. Gives. A. Fudge. (You thought I was gonna say the F word didn't you? -'д'- )

So please, use hashtags properly or so help me I will stalk you and kill yo momma and- you get the point.

Okie? Okie.

Rant one officially closed.

Rant two- selfies (still. -_-)

Ridiculous selfies. They are one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.

Okay I mean who takes a selfie when you're about to go into the shower and you're half naked?

Attention seekers, sl*ts and fuccboys. Ahahaha mind my language. ^-^" (Spelt wrong on purpose...!)

Selfies like those are just, for me, a no-go.

First off nobody wants to see you half naked, secondly if you're taken and you do this, I want to set fire to your house, thirdly depending on your age, some selfies like this are downright disgusting. Nobody wants to see a 40 year old man's selfie like this, no-one wants to see a ten year old's selfie like this either.

E.g You are nine years old, in primary school, year 4. You are wearing a "bra" because you are soooooooo developed already, you decide to go on instagram (which you shouldn't have at that age.) and post a picture of you exactly in that moment.

Okay, I dunno about you guys but if I go into my account and see a picture like this, I would block the user, delete instagram, throw my phone out the window. Probably not, I over-exaggerated. But still.

My ranting message of the day for rant two? DON'T post ridiculous selfies. ^-^

Rant 三 3

Kids having social media.

Okie, this sounds mean, but I dislike this fact.

I shouldn't be speaking, I had facebook when I was 7. I DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE THOUGH!!!

But when I see 7 year old kids on instagram, snapchat, kik these days, it just....it makes me shudder.

*wears fake teeth*

Back in my day, we weren't allowed to use social media like you chippers do now!

*takes fake teeth out*

It's true. I wasn't allowed instagram, skype, snapchat when I was 7, in fact, I didn't even know about it! These things are dangerous for kids. Facebook, for me, was literally just to play farmville. I didn't use it for ANYTHING else but the goddamn games on it. :3

I'm gonna tell you some things that might happen if you get social media at a young age.

Instagram- You post pictures, which could be tracked, and you could get murdered.

Skype- Random people could request to be your contact, you accept coz you're such a kid, they turn out to be a pedo, you get murdered.

Snapchat- You "accidentally" send a snap to a random person, and it is for some reason one of you taking a toy from the shops, you get reported, you go to jail.

Kik- A creepy stalker was searching up random names on kik, looking for new people to stalk, they find you, they ask to chat to you, you accept it being the naive kid you are, the person stalks you, and you DIEEEE!

See what I mean? It's not right! I'm not over-exaggerating here. It could happen!

I understand if you're I dunno, 12 and the age for instagram is 13. At least you are a tad more responsible than a 7 year old. One year, maybe even a few months away from the age requirement is fine. 3-5 YEARS away from it, please, if you're on wattpad, which you shouldn't be on, (unless you're my sister who copies everything her sister does) don't get social media. PLEASE.

Uh...I dunno if my rant came across as harsh. Tbh, while I was writing it, to me, some things sounded harsh but it's my point of view, I got this job to rant, I rant.

I hope at least some people agree with my rant, point of view, argument, whatever you wish to call it.

I'll stop annoying you now, thanks for staying and reading my semi long (To me) rant.

Allysa Zamora- over and out. xx

(Word count: 1124)