Hualian AU ~ 5. Flashback 1, Back in XianLe

Part 2

Part 2

The day after when he woke up, his parents were already out at work. He made himself some coffee and logged in his online lectures. Around 11, he got a text from his mother: 'there's Bolognese sauce in the freezer ♥'. After lunch he put a lead on Ruoye and went out for a walk.

He passed by The Youth Club where he used to do his workshops, and went to the park behind it, where he hung out with his friends; at the playgrounds, then later at the skateboard park, or going down the river path behind on his bike. He played fetch with Ruoye for a bit, while letting his memories flow freely.

Eight years ago. He did his music, his tutorials, had thousands of followers, and loving fans. He was multi-talented, but didn't think much of it; he saw it as one thing taking to another. Then things started to take a bad turn: Qi Rong and other trouble-makers showed up, the whole An Le affair happened. And he got his first message from White NoFace.

It was a nasty message saying basically his music was shit. He didn't care; trolls were always around, and well, if he didn't like his music, go listen to The Beatles. Or Tchaikovsky. Only, this person kept harassing him, and his constant and sometimes scarily accurate criticism started to slowly affect Xie Lian. He started to get anxious whenever he was going online.

He didn't tell anyone, and put on a brave face. Tried to carry on with his life as usual. It was when he joined The Heavens for the first time too, so he threw himself on his new uni life; he shared a flat with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, and took some "time off" from creating content.

Gradually he started to avoid his friends, trying desperately to rest and focus. He also wasn't interacting with his fans anymore. There was this one kid who messaged him every other day at least, and this even annoyed him at times, got him thinking, 'pff get a life'.

He couldn't deal with not being creative, original, edgy. He kept missing deadlines for his assignments, and felt an impostor, a cheater, a failure; he started to doubt everything he ever did. Then one day he got another message, one that became a turning point for him.

It was from that kid; that's how he called him; by style of the messages, he was very young, maybe 12-13 years old, maybe even younger. His avatar was a manga character with red eyes. That day, he wrote, 'you're my reason to live'. Just like that.

Even now, eight years later, Xie Lian felt his eyes moist. At the time, he cried so hard; he was stretched, worn out, and that random message exposed what a mess he was. He didn't dare to reply, he didn't think he could be anyone's reason to live at all.

He dropped off The Heavens and went back to his parents', where he stayed for a few months, doing nothing in particular. Then just like that as well, White NoFace disappeared.

Xie Lian's phone pinged, and Ruoye, who was then fast asleep by his side, lifted her head and pricked up her ears. It was a Twitter message, and it said, 'xie lian u backstabber'. Who else could it be if not Qi Rong, even though the user name was @supreme_ghost_king.

He replied, 'you arrested yet?'

Qi Rong replied, 'shit xie lian the dalai lama being mean!'

Xie Lian sighed, and typed, 'it's a question of time till you get caught you know'

'nah I'll pass that'

Xie Lian typed, 'fuck off then', and blocked him. That would do for now, but he had the feeling Qi Rong wouldn't leave him alone.

He smiled at Ruoye, and hugged her to take a selfie; he sent it to Hua Cheng, with the caption, 'I'm out of town seeing my girl ♥'. Then he regretted, thinking it was stupid and he looked a total dateless loser, but Hua Cheng replied straight away, 'you're one lucky guy 😉'.

He got up, put the lead on Ruoye, and called his mum, saying he was buying some ingredients at an Asian shop to cook a teriyaki mushroom and spinach udon for them. They walked back home, and arrived at the same time as both his parents.

"Sweetie", his mum kissed him, "did you have a good day? You weren't overthinking were you?"

"Well yes", he flashed her a smile, "We went for a walk and I did some soul searching, but I'm ok".

His mother looked at him for a bit, and replied, "Good".

He said, "I'll need some time to process things, but I'll be fine mum".

She smiled, and said, "This wormy spaghetti you're doing, better with white wine isn't it?"

Xie Lian couldn't help but laugh; his mother was just too funny sometimes.

He had decided to return on the next day, having promised to come more often.

"I'm afraid that's what means being an only child", his mother said, way too dramatic for his taste. "Then look at this poor dog", she added, "See, Ruoye, he abandons you, then comes around saying he missed you..." but Ruoye wagged her tail and run around Xie Lian happily all the same.

Next day, around mid-morning, he said goodbye to Ruoye, getting some face licking in return, and left in a hurry to jump on an off-peak train and get to the afternoon lectures; he had two boxes of those dark chocolate tea cakes in his bag, a nice little treat from mum.

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Next arc coming soon, The Battle of The Lanterns/The Fetus Spirit! 🙃