Leaving The Past Behind ❤️

Gone

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day, you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

-Let Her Go, Passenger

♾♾♾♾

Steve opened the door a few days later, his heart sinking to his stomach as Nick Fury stood in front of him with Maria Hill. He didn't say anything, only stepped out of the way for them to enter as he heard the guys coming down the stairs. He looked at Bucky, "can you get Poppy?"

Bucky nodded, going back upstairs, knocking on Poppy's door. He opened the door, finding her reading on her bed, "hey. Fury is here."

She nodded, standing up, "do you know why?"

He shrugged, "I assume it's to take us to the new base." He watched the disappointment on her face as he approached her, "is there a reason you don't want to go to the new base?"

Poppy shrugged, avoiding his gaze, "no. Let's go."

Bucky shook his head, watching her walk ahead of him as he sighed.

Poppy looked at Steve avoiding looking at her as she entered the kitchen, "Fury."

Nick nodded, "Agent Papov. I'm here to take you and Wilson and Barnes to the new base." He looked at Steve, "thanks for letting them stay here Rogers."

Steve nodded, "yeah. Of course. I'll come tomorrow to look at the base."

"That's fine. You're always welcome anytime Steve." Maria smiled at Steve as he looked up at her.

Poppy felt a twinge of jealousy at their small interaction as she sighed, "well I'll go get my stuff."

Bucky watched Steve watch Poppy walk away. He shook his head, "Steve, can we talk for a minute?"

Steve nodded, leading Bucky to his room. He closed the door behind him as he looked at Bucky, "what?"

Bucky scoffed, "what?! What do you mean, what? You know what. Are you going to tell that girl you have feelings for her before she leaves here thinking you hate her?"

"She doesn't think I hate her." He groaned, "I kissed her Buck."

"What?! When?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know, like a week ago? But it doesn't mean anything because it can't."

Bucky shook his head, "why can't it?"

"Because I'm an old man? Because she should be with someone young and fun like Zach. She's young and perfect and innocent and doesn't deserve to be weighed down by me."

"You're not even going to give her a chance to make that decision for herself?" Bucky scoffed as he crossed his arms, looking at his friend.

"No."

Bucky rolled his eyes, nudging past Steve and he went upstairs to get his stuff.

Poppy came downstairs as everyone was leaving out the front door. She turned back to Steve, "thanks for letting me stay here, intruding on your space."

Steve shook his head, "no. Not an intrusion. There's always a room here for you Poppy, okay?"

She nodded, suddenly aware she was alone with him, "take care of Lily. Be nice to her."

Steve smiled, "I will."

She sighed, walking to the front door before turning back to him, "do you regret kissing me?"

Steve sighed, feeling his chest tighten. He watched her face, deciding to lie, "yes. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it."

She nodded, "okay then."

Bucky watched Poppy climb into the back of the SUV beside him as she stared out the window. He grabbed her hand, feeling her squeeze it as she rested her head on his shoulder. "It's not you doll. He's going through a hard time."

"I don't want to talk about it Buck."

♾♾♾♾

Steve sat on the porch with his coffee as he watched Lily wander to his yard again, "good morning Lily."

She smiled, "good morning Steve. Where is Poppy?"

Steve sighed, "she's not here. She doesn't live here anymore." He watched the sadness wash across her face, "I'm sorry little one. She'll come for a visit sometime, I promise."

Lily nodded, "okay. I made something for you and Poppy."

Steve smiled, setting his coffee down as he accepted the picture from her.

"It's you and Poppy holding hands and I drew little poppies."

Steve nodded, "thank you Lily. It's perfect. I'll give it to Poppy later when I see her, okay?"

Lily grinned, "okay! Thank you Steve!"

♾♾♾♾

Poppy walked through the hallway to the barracks as she saw Steve approaching her. She groaned, knowing she couldn't turn back because he already saw her. She looked at the ground, feeling him grab her hand as she tried to pass him.

"Poppy. You just going to avoid me?"

She shrugged, "I figured you'd prefer that."

Steve groaned, shaking his head, "definitely not. I'm sorry about yesterday."

"About you regret kissing me? It's fine." She crossed her arms, looking down at her feet, "not like I have that much experience doing it."

Steve chuckled, bringing his hand to her chin. He tilted her head up, making her look at him, "it certainly wasn't that. The kiss was....I.." He groaned, "I liked the kiss. That isn't the problem."

Poppy shrugged, "then what is it?" She heard him sigh as she took a step towards him, "don't you want to kiss me again?"

Steve nodded, running his thumb across her lips, "I do. But I can't." He cleared his throat, dropping his hand, "I'm sorry." He handed her the picture from Lily, "this is from Lily. She said it's you and me holding hands."

Poppy smiled, looking from the picture to Steve, "thank you Steve. Tell her thanks the next time you see her?"

"Of course." Steve smiled, "I told her you'd come and visit when you can." He grabbed her hand, "you're always welcomed Poppy."

She nodded, "okay. Just not for kissing?" She smiled as Steve chuckled, taking a step towards her as he placed his hand on her cheek.

"Where did my timid girl go?"

She smirked, "your timid girl?"

Steve laughed, "that's not what I meant." He pulled away from her with a sigh. "You have your whole life ahead of you."

She shrugged, "so is yours. You age slower than most men. Why did you retire?"

Steve sighed, shrugging, "I don't know. To get a life. Maybe start a family. I'm still figuring that all out."

Poppy nodded, taking a step back from him, "a family, right. I um." She pointed down the hall, "I have to go." She held up the picture, "thanks again. See you later Steve."

Steve groaned, "wait. That isn't what I meant!" He watched her shake her head as she rushed down the hallway away from him, "fuck!" He leaned his arms up on the wall as he rested his head on his arms as he tried to figure out how he kept saying all the wrong things.