A Guide To Vigilante-ism By Tommyinnit (edited)

1- How to not get killed by superheroes or your bestfriend

The heroes started walking, and Tommy had an idea.

Tommy went completely limp, completely silent. Everyone stopped as soon as he did

"Holy fuck- Did you fucking suffocate him?" The Blood God asked, panicked.

"I shouldn't have! But it looks like his powers make him inhuman, maybe whatever he's mixed with has weaker lungs? I don't know!" Spirit said while unwrapping Tommy from the cape.

He laid Tommy on the ground in front of him. Tommy held his breath.

"He's not fucking breathing! Check for a pulse!"

Tommy waited a few seconds and listened to them argue.

One..

Two..

Three..

Go!

Tommy jolted up, standing on his legs instead of all fours. He bolted to where the Blood God was standing, holding his bag and the Angel Of Death. Tommy grabbed his bag and pulled it out of the Blood God's hand, sprinting to the nearest building.

Running on all fours definitely gave Tommy speed, but running on his feet gave another advantage.

He tapped both of his feet together, activating the red lights on the soles of his sneakers.

He crouched, getting ready.

The Blood God was getting closer.

He took a deep breath, and he jumped.

He was launched onto the top of the building, slinging his bag over his shoulder and running.

He was in a richer area of the city, so he didn't have the layout memorized completely.

He sniffed the air, looking for that hint of sewage and pollution that was always present around his neighborhood.

No.. no... There!

He turned to the left and started running again, using the jump boost from his shoes to jump across the buildings, no doubt waking up a few rich people from who live in the penthouses.

He held his bag closer to him.

Just a few more blocks and he would he home. He would be back to his apartment and to his roommates, out of hero territory.

Heroes only ever put their best in the places where rich people lived, so it was a risk to do what he did so out in the open. Of course, he hadn't expected to be chased by all three of the city's top heroes, it just showed how important the stuff he had was.

After a while of running, he was finally home.

He had a sinking feeling in his stomach, though he didn't know why. He was home, he had his cafe, his food, his roommates, he was safe-

"TOMMY FUCKING INNIT!"

Oh right, his roommates.

Tubbo and Ranboo rushed downstairs.

Tubbo immediately ran over to Tommy,

"What took you so long?" He asked. Somehow, even under the fringe of brown hair that always covered his eyes, Tommy could see the anger.

"Tubbo, heyyy, what's up big man? Have I ever told you how much I like your hair?"

Tubbo smacked his forehead.

"Shut the fuck up. What did you do?"

Tommy laughed nervously, stepping back, "Oh, you knoww, the usual, I got the stuff."

He reached into his bag, pulling out a large wad of cash, "See nothing to worry about-"

Tubbo interrupted him, "Explain why you're an hour late and you have so much money."

Tommy slouched a bit, "So- um- like.."

Ranboo tapped him on the shoulder, "Teen robbed the second highest ranking hero and got away, according the the hero, the perpetrator goes by the name Tommy."  He read from his phone.

"It's been less than an hour how do they already have articles on it?" Tommy asked.

Tubbo hit him on the back of his head, and Ranboo kept reading.

"The suspect is blond with blue eyes. His enhancement is unidentified but officials believe it is a physical power, one that combined him with an animal. He stole money and gold, but also a totem of undying. Officials say to call police on sight, do not engage, he could be dangerous."

Tubbo frowned, "You said you were going on a walk." He said.

Tommy backed away from his roommates, "I did that."

Ranboo and Tubbo glared at him.

It was going to be a long night.

======

Philza, more commonly known as the Angel Of Death, sat down across from his two sons, reading over the case file again.

"How did that kid have access to a tranquilizer gun, especially with such high quality parts?" He asked.

Wilbur, more commonly known as Spirit, shook his head.

"Don't know. It looked like his shoes also gave him jump boost. He has access to some pretty good tech, could he be be a villian's minion?" He asked.

"No, any villain would send someone older, or more experienced. He stole a totem." Technoblade, known as the Blood God, answered.

Philza sighed, "The kid looked homeless, he was skinny, and his clothes were dirty. Someone could've hired him to get the job done easy without any important deaths?"

Wilbur pushed his brown hair out of his face, "That doesn't explain how the kid had access to that tech. People wouldn't waste such expensive pieces of gear on a temporary asset that was probably meant to die."

Philza sighed, "We'll finish the investigation tomorrow," He turned to Technoblade.

"Stop looking so mad."

Wilbur laughed, "He's upset that a kid was able to steal his totem from him and get away." He teased.

Technoblade turned to him, "Dive off of the roof." He said.

Wilbur yelled angrily while Technoblade's power dragged him onto, and off of, the roof.