My Mad Fat Diary

Keep Away Chloe!

Diary

You have joined me at a momentous time. This time last night I had an ACTUAL piece of boy-flesh in my bed. Okay, so I didn't tell Finn I liked him, and his grandmother had just died so he wasn't feeling horny, but he still ended up LICKING-DISTANCE from my FACE. Finally proof that I'm not wholly repellent to men!

So get ready diary, because you're about to be hit by Rae Earl's top three pieces of seduction information. Prepare to be floored, you're about to descend into a sex-advice coma.

1) Never accept dating advice from Danny Two Hats. The man wears two hats. This should tell you all you need to know.

2) All hugs can be turned into sexy hugs. Even sympathy ones. The person you're hugging doesn't have to know you've turned it into a sexy hug. But you have.

3) Family bereavements, whilst tragic, are the perfect excuse for a sympathy hug. And that's never a bad thing; see above.

My first task as goddess of horn is to KEEP FINN AWAY from Chloe's manicured harpy claws.