Moments / One Shots

I'm an atheist 3

(A/n suprise! Another atheist chapter haha yeah but that's not all the chapters of this series, I was thinking about making a book out of this but meh, idk if I should or not because I have way to many book in my draft already and even more in my notes so it would just be hectic for me to make it into a book xoxo-Lara)

"Let's try this again... Last chance" the agent says making the young me look up with blood coming from my mouth because I had bitten my lip from being punched "go fuck yourself" the past me spits and lowers her head as blood drips from her lips to the floor and weeps out from her thighs and back form where I was whipped and the torture continues as the agent speaks and walks around me "we will break you y/n, you will become our finest creation, of a monster" he says as the young me gets whipped again "Ahh!" The screams are filled with pain and agony clenching my teeth as I remember the next words I said "go ahead... You can't break me... I'm already broken" the past me comes back making the agent pull out a gun and aim it at me as I start laughing taunting him to he pulls the trigger and he does but this time it was loaded...

"I'm surprised you didn't aim for the head" younger me speaks through the pain after seeing the bullet wound flooding out with my blood from my right leg but he lift the gun up further as the stinging sensation of the bullet makes the present me look at my down feeling the pain like it was yesterday "the living aren't done with you yet y/n, there is so much more for us to see and do together..." he says with a menacing smile on his hideous face and pull the trigger yet again getting my shoulder "ugh!" Obviously the past me was weak and breathing heavily before looking back up at the agent knowing he isn't going to kill me...

"Mark my words... When I get out of here... I'm going to kill you myself with my bare hands... I'll do it slowly... Looking in your eyes... So I can savour the sweet and surely... Satisfying moment" yeah I said that back then but it didn't help at the time as I get grabbed by my face angrily with a harsh grip almost digging his nails into my skin but I laugh again seeing his angered expression "that's a promise" she speaks before he throws me to the ground with a punch knocking me out

"That's enough" Steve says barely above a whisper making me look at them seeing the heartache and distressed in their eyes so I think that he is right so I collect the three balls with my magic stopping the scene from playing out any further like he said as they all take a few moment to themselves after seeing all of that and what happened to me I mean they did asks me what happened so I only showed them a little bit of my time at hydra and they know much more has happened to me as I collect the tec ball's with my magic and put them back in my pocket

"Did that answer your questions?" I ask with my normal emotionless tone and expression as they all look at me with pity making me huff "don't even bother looking at me like that" I say making most of them look away knowing I don't wish for their sorrow upon me I can see they are still in disbelief of what they saw and they need a few minutes to let it sink in so with that I leave the room and go to my room also needing a minute to myself after reliving my past in that dreadful place that haunts my dreams and shadows

-time skip-

It's been a few minutes after what I had shown them and I've gotten myself back together again as it wasn't easy opening up to them after all the ways I have been mistreated and betrayed by people and I would expect them to do the same but I'm hoping they are different but I don't have high hopes at all because the people closest to you are the people that you can trust the least because they are the only ones that can betray you as they have some of your trust or whatever it is that they have and they can back stab you with it later on

Enemies however can't betray you because they never had any of that to begin with so with that information that remind me of the saying keep your friends close but your enemies closer I now know the full meaning of it and I trust that I will stick by that memo and I'm sure that I am not to put trust into others like I have done in the past as I know it will never end well so I will only rely on myself and only myself

It will be a hard and impossible mission for someone to gain my trust 'knock knock' my head turns towards the door asmy hand instantly goes to the knife on my thigh in the holster that it is in as I walk over to the door slowly "y/n?" I recognize that voice so I let go of the knife and step over to the door and open it looking at the person who had knocked "I came to see if you're okay" Natasha utters and everytike I speak or and around someone I keep a blank expression most of the time and my composure upright and closed off but also guarded for many reasons

"I am thank you for checking up on me now goodbye" I say and go to close the door but she stops it making me look back at her "y/n please stop being so closed off" she says making me heavily sign and look away and when I do this she slips under my arm and into my room making me turn around and look at her with a little frown in my face " I know you have many reasons to keep yourself to yourself but at some point you're going to break" she comments as I have a feeling she isn't going to leave any time soon so I close the door