Exzama And Dislexia

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Ugh I hate summer... I get sweaty which makes my skin condition worse and more titcher than normal so as you can guess I'm scratching my arm while doing my mission report holding my pen in my right hand as I scratch without knowing while waiting for Nat to get here as she said she would come here to hang out as usual as we have been dating for a few months now and we usually hang out when we have time and with my dislexia it's hard to spell and read words so she would usually help me out with it which I am very grateful for

"Hey babe" I hear making me look up and stop scratching my arm as I turn and see her coming into my room closing the door behind her "hello darling" my british accent comes through which never fails to make her smile and she comes over to me and leans down and gives me a small kiss which makes a smile form on my face as she pulls away but the butterflies feel stronger as I see her look into my eyes with her green emerald ones but she looks away and at my word "do you need help?" She asks making me look at it too "I think I'm almost done... Pretty sure I spelt a few words incorrectly but I'm not bothered by it" I say with a little giggle as I start scratching my arm again and I see her look down at me

"Babe stop" she says with a bit worry in her voice making me realize that I have been scratching and stop when she grabbed my hand to stop me so look to see I have made myself bleed... "Oh fuck sake" I mumble as I put the pen down on the desk while frowning at my bloody arm "stay there and don't scratch" she says letting go of my hand and walks away to the bathroom as I do as I am told as I didn't mean to do this to myself it just... Happened...

Natasha comes back over to me and leans against my desk and I see she has gotten my cream and stuff to clean the blood and all that so she hold her hand out once she had out the stuff on the table and I lift my arm and she gently cleans the blood away making sure not to hurt me if possible and after that she gently blows on the exzama to cool it down as it's burning from the itchiness and the coldness makes goosebumps appear on my arm and I see this makes her smile but she grabs the cream and puts some on my arm making sure not to go over any open wounds at that would definitely hurt and I find it very uncomfortable putting cream on my arms but I know it is only to help so I just let her do what she needs before she finishes rubbing it in and looks at me

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to" I say honestly looking down in shame as I know this is classed as a form of self harming even if I didn't know I was doing it or didn't mean to but I feel her lifting my head from underneath my chin with one of her hands so I look up at her seeing her already looking at me "I know you didn't baby, but you have to use the cream if you feeling it itching" she says and I know she is right "sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it" I tell her and this makes her sign softly and her hand under my chin goes to my cheek making me lean in her hand and lift my other hand and place it over hers as I place a kiss on her palm of her hand and she shows a little smile at this gesture I show her

She strokes the cheek with her thumb softly before leaning over to me and kisses my head lovingly which makes me close my eyes as she lets the kiss linger for a little while before pulling back so I look up at her "thank you" I tell her and she smiles softly at me as she removes her hand off my cheek but keeps hold of my hand and brings it up to her lips and kiss the back of my hand "it's okay baby, anytime" she says and lowers my hand to her lap "how is your other arm though?" She asks but it's fine although now that I'm thinking about it...

"It was okay until I thought about it" I say making her frown "sorry" she says but I show a side smile meaning it is okay as she grab the cream and I groan as I know what she is going to do as she chuckles as my discomfort as she puts the cream on my other arm and rubs it in before she helps me with the rest of my work as we can cuddle for a while and watch a movie together

-skip-

I was just given a new mission to do and I was handed a file on our mission but I can't read it because of my dislexia... So I'm in my room trying to read it but the frustration is slowly building up inside of me but I ignore it "conc... Conc....looo..." I stop and huff again with a little growl and frown but I skip the word I can't read until I get to another "So...Uhh... So... K... kieo?... Van" ugh Sokovian is so hard to read how the hell do you even pronounce this word "ugh!" I swipe my hands across my desk throwing some of the papers cross the room into the air as I stand and my chair falls over backwards and at the same time I hear my door open but I'm to frustrated to that notice of it

"Stupid! It's just fucking stupid paper and words... Ugh what the hell is wrong with me!" I throw the rest of the paper work across the room and huff turning around and freeze when I see Nat standing there with a confused yet worried expression making me sign and look away before kicking the chair lightly out of my way as I walk over to my bed and sit down with my head in my hands "y/n? Baby" Nat comes closer as so does her voice and I feel the bed dip on my right side and I just shake my head still in my hands "I can't... I... I fucking hate it" I could feel my eyes watering as I feel the sadness of feeling dumb set in

"I'm just too stupid" I whisper as that's how I feel "hey, no baby you're not stupid you're far from it" I hear her speak making me look up at her and see see my glossy eyes "then how come I don't feel it?" I ask her and I see her frown as her facial expression soften and she comes closer and pulls me into her hugging me so I hold her back "just because you can't read or spell things right doesn't mean you're stupid babe, you should know that dislexic people actually are one of the most creative and smartest people of our time" she tell me as I then feel her kiss my head as I frown but continue to listen to her

"Being dislexic means you see everything in here" she taps my head lightly "in 3d which in result means you get muddled up with you d, p, q and b's sometimes when spelling and while reading you find it hard to understand how to pronounce words because it's hard mixing them together into a word let alone a sentence" know she explains it to me I do have trouble with all of the above "but seeing the a three dimensional way is cooler then you think because it supports your thought movements in pursuit of new ideas, I'm kinda jealous of it actually" she says which makes me pull away from her chest where she was holding me and look at her and wipe my tears away

"You're jealous of the way my brain works?" I ask a little unsure and she nods "it fasinates me" she says with a smile which makes me smile a little "I thought everyone thinking like I do" I tell her but she shake her head "most of us thinking in 2d" she says making me frown "that sounds really borning" I say making her chuckle lightly but nod "yeah it is" she says making my smile widen "thank you" I mumble to her before leaning up and kissing her cheek firmly as I feel her smile as I do this "anytime babe, anytime" she says as I pull away from her

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