Jelix

Video Call

I woke up to Sean's voice from down the hall. I couldn't make out exactly what he was saying but it sounded like he was on the phone. When I sat up and looked around I noticed that the place was...clean. The trash was gone, I could see the whole floor, even the sink looked emptier from where I was sitting.

Sean walked in a moment later and smiled when he saw me. "Hey there sleepy head!" He greeted. "I just ordered us a pizza if you're hungry".

"Oh...th-thank you" I replied. Pizza sounded awesome right now. I pointed around at the floor. "Did you..."

"Oh, yeah. I cleaned up a bit" he said rubbing the back of his neck. "I hope you don't mind. I just thought I might as well. I did every room, except for your bedroom cuz I didn't want to go in there without asking first. But now that you're up, did you want any help with that?"

"No" I blurted out. My bedroom was an absolute travesty compared to the rest of the house. Plus i had some things that needed hiding before anyone went in there like those dam razors...and the pills scattered across the counter. I couldn't bare him seeing it like that. "The bedroom is fine".

"Alrighty" he said sweetly. He had a seat on the couch next to me and I found myself drawing closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Thank you so much" I whispered. "The place looks really good. I don't know what I'd do without you".

"No problem buddy" Sean said hugging me back. "I'm here for whatever you need".

I hugged him for a bit longer, never wanting this moment to end. How did i ever get so lucky to have met this amazing man. "Thank you" I whispered once more before letting him go.

"Of course Fee. That's what friends are for" he chirped. "Oh yeah! Speaking of which, um..everyone has been asking me to tell you to turn your phone on. They really miss you".

"Oh.." I said looking at the floor. It's been so long since I've talked to them. "Um...yeah. I think I can do that".

"Sweet! I'll let them know!" He pulled out his phone and pulled up a group chat we've had since forever. He went to type something but paused before his thumbs could touch the keyboard. "Actually, why don't we video call them right now on my phone?"

"Oh, u-um sure" I mumbled. Why was I so nervous? I watched as Sean pressed the call button and I immidatly felt sick to my stomach. I had to wipe the sweat off my palms on my pajama bottoms as it rang.

Ethan was the first to pick up. "Hey, Sean! What's up?" He asked as he was walking through his house. Spencer's  nails tapping against the wood floor could be heard as he followed close behind him.

"Hey, Ethan!" Sean said smiling ear to ear. "I have someone who agreed to show his face!" He turned the camera to me and I smiled nervously as I gave a small wave.

"Oh, hey Felix!" Ethan said now a bit more excited. "It's been so long, how are things going?"

"U-um, I mean-" I looked away from the screen.

"Right, dumb question. I'm sorry" Ethan apologized. "Obviously things have been rough lately. I get it. But we're here for ya".

Just then Mark joined the call.  "Wattup losers" he said with a mouthfull of chips. He nearly choked when he saw me. "Oh, Felix! Hey buddy!"

"Heyy!"

"My god you're a sight for sore eyes! What's been going on?!"

"Um, not much really" I shrugged.

A second later Amy joined the call, followed by Mariza, Bob, Wade, and finally Tyler.

"Felix!" Amy cheered. Everyone else followed with "hi's" and asked how I  was doing, what I've been up to, if I  was okay.

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm alright" I stuttered. My hand tightened around the fabric of my pajama bottoms. I felt Sean's hand rest on top of mine.

"Are you alright?" He mouthed to me off camera. I nodded.

"So, Felix" Mark said bringing my attention back over to everybody on screen. "We should do something some time like play a game together! If you're up to it of course!"

"Y-yeah, maybe" I nodded.

"What about now?" Mariza suggested.

"Oh, um, I don't know" I said already feeling drained. Playing a game with one person was one thing. But a whole group of people? I felt too tired to even think about it. That nap didn't seem to help much. Why must I always feel like this?

"Pleeease?" Wade begged. "It's been forever!"

"I Know-"

"I think it'd be good for you" Mariza added. "We're worried about you Felix. And we miss you!"

"Ya, we all got pretty worried after you dissapeared" Bob said.

"I get it!" I snapped. "I abandoned you all, I know! I'm sorry okay?"

"Woah, Felix" Mark said. "That's not what we-"

"I have to go" I stood up from the couch and walked away from them as fast as I could. I didn't get far though before my vision started to go dark once again. I stopped and put my hands against the wall trying to fight the heavy feeling pulling me down.

"Felix?" Sean said placing the phone down and rushing to my side. He put his hands on my shoulders. "You alright?"

"I-I'm fine" I said shaking my head in an attempt to get rid of the dizzy spell.  It went away after a few more seconds. But Sean stayed right by my side still.

"Come sit, Fee" He spoke softly. I nodded and allowed him to take me back to the livingroom. I could hear whispering coming through the phone as I sat down in the recliner. Sean then went back to the couch and picked the phone back up.

"Hey, I'll catch you guys later" he said quietly. I heard them all say "okay" or "alright" sounding dissapointed. He gave them a small wave, then hung up the call. I looked down at my lap as he picked his head up. I heard him slowly step closer to me.

"What happened Fee?" He asked. I could only shake my head. "Did you get overwhelmed?"

I shrugged. "I guess..."

He sighed and kneeled down in front of me. "I'm sorry. I guess the big call should have waited".

"No, I'm sorry" I whispered. "I just couldn't...I let them all down. I left them without a word. I couldn't bring myself to make it up to them either. I just ran away like a coward".

"Felix" Sean put a hand on my shoulder and locked eyes with me. "I promise you it's okay. You didn't let them down. They just..really missed you, and they've been worried about you. But you absolutely do not have to play some game with them to let them know you still care about them. You're  obviously not doing well right now. And that's okay. You don't need to do anything you're not ready for, or prove anything to anyone. We'll all still be here for you, no matter what. I can promise you that".

I stared into his eyes as I allowed his words to really sink in. I didn't realise how much I needed to hear all that. "Thank you" I whispered. Sean smiled softly and hugged me tight. I hugged back even tighter. God I'm happy he's here. "Thank you so much Sean" I said again tearing up. "I don't think I'd be here if it weren't for you".

Sean pulled away slowly. His smile was gone and he looked at me a little scared. I too stopped smiling when realization hit me. "What do you mean by that Felix?" He asked. Fuck. Why did he have to ask?

"Um...w-well, I..." My entire body started to shake. I felt all the blood drain my body and a cold heavy stone settled into my chest. I couldn't bring myself to say it. So instead, in a quiet whisper, I just said, "Go look in the bathroom of my room.."

Sean didn't get up right away. He looked at me with worried eyes for almost a minute before finally getting up on his feet and slowly making his way to my room. I let out a long sigh and pulled my hood up. This would not end well.