𝗸𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄𝘀. oc boy group

❥ ┆ elijah & jj & the terrace

february 4, 2022
tw: mentions of suicide and self harm

after elijah kicked jj out of the hospital room, he had been sitting right outside, refusing to genuinely leave the older, despite the suicide watch cop giving him a unforgiving look as jj wiped his eyes from the tears. he didn't realize how much he was hurting the younger and it all came crumbling down on him. elijah on the other hand was confused, complete and utterly flabbergasted. he tried to see how romance could correlate to the way jj treated him, but he just couldn't, it didn't make any sense to him. "elijah, i thought we told you you had to stay in bed." elijah rolls his eyes at the sound of eujin's voice. he looks at the congested crowd of his members, jj stands in the back and they lock eyes for a moment, jj looks worse than elijah, and it stings his heart a little. "we brought pizza." nara says with a hint of happiness in his voice. elijah is grateful for the boys ability to bounce back, because he feels completely responsible for the fact that he can no longer step foot in their bedroom. as they form eye contact once again jj shakes his head, silently begging him not to say anything. elijah presses his lips into a thin line and sighs. "ellie, come eat." seojun calls out, breaking the gaze between the two, seojun sensing something bad had happened between the two.

elijah takes two pieces before making his way way back to the bed. he eats without saying anything, mind racing with so many thoughts. he only speaks when someone asks him a question or when they mention his name in a conversation. even at a time when all the attention is on him he still feels outcasted. everyone is smiling and eating happily, no one truly engages in a conversation with elijah for any longer then a couple sentences. that changes when jj approaches him. "can i sit here?" he asks gently, a complete 180 from his usual tone. he points to a rolling chair that sits next to the best, it belongs to the doctor, not that anyone cared. elijah mutters a 'sure' and watches him as he almost drops his food when he sits down and the chair tilts back. jj's silent for a few minutes, but he soon finds the courage to speak. "elijah... i know now is not the right time to be saying this, but if you keep it between just you and me i would really appreciate that." jj whispers his words, and elijah finally registers how scared he looks. as pissed as elijah is at him right now, he feels bad that he forced the older to come out and confess something before he was ready. "i won't say anything to anybody." elijah's words and confirming, and jj believes him when he says it, he has no reason not to. "thank you." jj says softly, before going back to eating his food.

sometimes when he's not looking, elijah looks at jj and tries to decipher what he's thinking, but it's hard when they've never had a real conversation that wasn't arguing. "are you going to stay?" elijah asks, wondering if the older was going to continue to stay the rest of the night after what had happened between them. "i plan on it, but if you don't want me here then i won't stay." jj looks elijah in the eyes with genuine concern, scared to make any wrong moves. "it's okay, you can stay." elijah mutters, but it's loud enough for only seojun to hear.

they both notice the quietness of the room and decide to look over to the others. the other members are staring at them, as if i they just realized the two were in the room. "what?" elijah asked, mouth stuffed. "i don't think i've ever seen you two talk without arguing." yunseo says, watching as jj actively avoided eye contact with any of the members. "he's in charge of watching me today, the least i can do is be nice for 24 hours." his words are genuine, even if jj believes he's people pleasing. the others seem to belibe him because they quickly go back to their conversation. jj is evidently uncomfortable, and elijah doesn't realize until he clears his throat and stands up. "i need some fresh air." he mutters, placing his unfinished plate on the chair. "let me go too, this place is fucking suffocating." elijah whispers, careful not to let the others hear their plan to escape. jj turns to the younger and helps him up, the two making an escape without a single eye catching them. they make their way to a large terrace the size of a football field. there's several trees and its dark except for the lights coming from inside.

elijah watches from a distance as jj walks towards the edge and grabs his chest with sharp intakes of breaths. it was obvious the amount of anxiety he had about the other members possible finding out, and elijah couldn't tell if it was because he was closeted or that he was in love with him. for the first time that day, a comfortable silence fits snuggly between the two boys, and there's not an ounce of awkwardness or worry between them, in fact jj feels a sense of comfortability when elijah walks up and stands beside him. "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have pushed you to tell me if you weren't ready to." elijah says, owning up to his responsibility in the situation. "i was never going to tell you how i felt, i just don't know how to feel now that i've said it." jj feels like his world has been turned upside, his biggest secret was revealed in a fit of high emotions and now that he's come down from that high he has no clue what to do. "why do you act like you hate me?" elijah asks leaning his back against the concrete railing of the terrace. "just because i said i love you doesn't me you don't piss me off all the time." elijah smiles at the response, "i also exaggerated how i act with you because i never wanted anyone to even have a hint about how i felt."

"i don't hate you." elijah says softly, "i hated how defensive you got all the time, now i know why so i apologize for that, it couldn't have been easy." jj mutters a small 'thank you' loud enough for elijah to hear. they keep eye contact, and it's peaceful air that surrounds them. it's so peaceful that elijah doesn't notice himself leaning in, and he doesn't notice jj's self contemplation before he begins leaning in as well. they get closer and closer, unaware of any feelings that tell them to stop. their lips graze each other, and jj finally connects them. something confusing spreads throughout elijah's body as he kisses back. he knows they've only had their lips touch for a few seconds before jj pulls away. they look into each other's eyes, jj looking more beautiful then elijah's ever noticed. he's never noticed the way his hair covers his eyes gently, but still allows him to see well. jj wants nothing more than to kiss the younger again, to feel his lips once more, and he almost does before they hear someone come into the terrace and they distance themselves quicker than the speed of light. it's only a doctor on their break but elijah can't help but chuckle at the situation, jj joining in eventually.