The cheering sound of the people out in the streets of my neighborhood roared as the new year was only a few minutes away. 5 to be exact. Being back in Houston made me happy. Tasting moms cooking and Dannys hugs in the morning felt like I never left. There was only one problem. This day, this holiday to be exact, made me vulnerable. It was holy to me. It was the day I gave myself to Walter. Every time I tried to forget the events of that day, it just made me sad. The fact of him leaving with Sarah and all. I couldn't bear the feeling it brought every time i mentioned it in my head.
"Looks like you could need some company". Speak of the devil.
"I'm ok Walter." I replied not looking back.
The silence in between was awkward. You could literally hear crickets chirping.
"Ironic how your mom and my mom became so close." He said
"To be exact they know each other since Elementary. I just didn't see it coming."
"Yeah. Heard you got the part in the musical. Congrats." He said.
"Thanks." I said not turning back to see him.
"Knew you had it in you." He said.
"Yeah I know." I said cockingly.
"How's things with Matthew." He said sounding not interested.
"Why so curious?" I replied.
"Just trying to see if everything is ok."
"Uhuh, sure."
"Fine forget I ever asked. Brought some munchies." I smiled when he said that. It reminded me of the first day I actually kissed him. Well, he kissed me.
"Leave the munchies. You can go." I replied.
"Ouch! You'd rather eat a bag of munchies that may I add, bought with my money instead of sharing it with your boy-" he cut himself off whe he realized what he was gonna say.
I wiped the tear away from my cheek that was making his way down to my chin. That's when he noticed.
"Hey, I'm sorry." He said sincerily.
"Can you just stop Walter. I need you to leave me alone." I said standing up from the stairs that were outside in the patio.
"Can we just talk?" He said.
"Of course!!!let's start by explaining why you didn't answer any of my messages or calls this month? Or why you broke down to tears at the after party? Or why you dumped me for a girl who doesn't give two shits about you? Answer me that."
"Listen, I know you're upset b-"
"Upset?!I'm devastated!!! How can you live with yourself?" I sobbed In my own tears.
"I didn't answer your calls because I didn't want to interfere with your life anymore."
"Haven't you thought that maybe everything isn't about you anymore?! I tried to calling you to tell you about the part. And when you didn't answer, it made me feel like shit. I wanted to tell you but you didn't answer."
"I know I made mistakes Luke. And may I add, not great ones. That day in the balcony, I finally opened myself to.you because I knew that if I married Sarah, I would never get the chance to tell you the way I really felt for you. Like I said Luke, I made my share of mistakes. But just know this, you were never a mistake. You were the one good thing in my life that actually I regret letting go." He said rubbing his hands on my shoulders.
" I just don't get it. No matter how much I try to forget you and leave you behind, you always find a way back to me." I said pushing his hands away.
"Doesn't seem like that. Seems to me like someone else found a way to replace me."
"You're wrong Walter. Matthew is a new chapter in my life that I plan to continue till I die. The problem is that I still haven't found a ending to our chapter. You are the only thing that stands in between.I still love you. And I'll always love you. But I can't do this anymore. I can't continue loving someone that keeps hurting me." I said trying to control the tears falling from my eyes.
"Hey. I get it." He said placing his hands on my face and bringing me closer to him." Don't think that I don't feel the same. You are my first remember?. And in about 45 seconds, 2 years will turn to 3. But just know, you can begin a new chapter, but you will never be able close our story because you know that it was real. As real as it gets. I respect your decision. So if that's what you want, I'll do it. Anything to make you happy." He said.
"I'm not understanding."
"I'm leaving out of your life completely. I won't reach you anymore. You deserve to be happy and if it's not with me, then its with Matt. Just know that this is hard for me as it is for you." I tried to calm myself down.
"Hey" he said getting my attention.
"What?" I asked. Then he kissed me and fireworks flew up in the sky and the moment felt magical. I didn't want to let it go. Soon I was brought back to reality when he pulled back and he looked at me with so much lust.
"Happy New Years." He said planting a kiss in my forehead and walking away like he promised. I watched him leave through the patio door and saw him get in his car and drive away. I just wasn't really liking the idea. That both of us were finally closing the chapter. Of both of us moving on.
