Burnt Out | J. Kirstein

|03|

We're roommates.

Soon enough, my beer is gone and I'm left with an empty bottle. I say I'll be back, but I'm not sure if I will be. Not with the fact they want to play never have I ever. That's a quick way to know too much about someone and I'm not sure I want to do that with people I've just met. But it could also be interesting.

I take my time finding the kitchen where the alcohol is located. I refuse eye contact with everyone I walk by and while I feel sort of bad, I know it's better than the alternative. Which is making small talk with people I'd rather not get to know.

Everyone wants to be friends at parties.
It's annoying.

For now, I want to get accustomed to the school part of college life before the relationship part of it. Once I'm comfortable I'll start putting myself out there, but not now.

My eyes lift when the door opens. It was quick, but a girl came in and looked around briefly before leaving, probably looking for someone who wasn't in here.

I didn't think anything of it until the door was swinging behind her.

But her face... Those eyes...

It can't be her...can it?

It's been almost two years and this school is thousands of miles away from home... so the likelihood of her being here is next to nothing.

No. It's just someone who looks like her.

It would've been nice if it was her though...

"You're cute," a girl leans against the counter and stares at me, her chest on display just like her entire personality.

I take a quick glance and thank her. Before I allow her any more time to talk, I grab my new beer and head back for the basement, even though the front door looks rather inviting.

When I shrug my way down the stairs with heavy steps, I regret each one.

Turn around.

Go home.

Leave.

But for some reason my feet don't listen to my thoughts. I end up back into the main area where the couches are.

There's a new girl beside...Reiner, I think his name was. I can't see her face, but I guess it doesn't really matter to me.

"Alright let's play," I let out, somewhat with annoyance, but it's more of an announcement.

"Jean," Reiner smiles at me. "This is, y/n. Y/n this is Jean."

Y/n...

Y/n...

Y/n...

It's really her.

She's here.

I remember when she stopped coming to school. Everyone noticed but no one was able to figure out why, even though you tried desperately too. She just kind of disappeared and was never talked about again.

"Oh..." I feel my lips turn up slightly, not sure how I'm supposed to react. "It's a been awhile."

She doesn't look the same. She's sadder looking. I remember her being compared to a ray of warm sun light. But the girl in front of me doesn't seem capable of casting such a blissful warmth upon anything.

She radiates darkness now.

The brief sight I got of her earlier wasn't enough for me too see. Hell, I convinced myself it wasn't her. Just someone who looked similar.