truth only hurts when you want to believe a lie

three for free

The air was calm around the prestigious hero school UA. Birds were singing, the wind was blowing, and the sun was shining high in the sky. It was all very peaceful.

Everywhere except for Class 1-A, where the homeroom teacher, Aizawa Shota, had just informed his students that they would be watching a real interrogation recording.

For the life of them, none of the students could figure out the relevancy the recording had.

"Sir, aren't interrogations done by the police? Why do we have to watch them?"

"Yeah! Shouldn't we be watching videos on, like, fight theories?"

"Quiet." Aizawa grunted, effectively silencing the teens. A television lowered down out of the ceiling, the screen blank. "This isn't any interrogation. You'll understand the importance of it after we watch. Don't say a word and pay attention."

Aizawa pressed a button as the lights dimmed, the television screen coming to life.

On the screen were two figures sitting in what was obviously an interrogation room. They were side by side, a table in front of them with two more chairs on the opposite side. One of them was covered in purple burns, making his skin appear patch workie. His eyes were closed as he leaned back in the chair, his cuffed hands behind his black hair.

The other one had their features covered by a black and green mask in the shape of a rabbit face, complete with ears and everything. The mask was attached to a tight fitting hoodie jacket, completely covering up any identifiable features. They had their hands resting on the table, staring at their companion.

Aizawa hit the play button and the recording started midway through a sentence.

" - saying! I mean, what if he accidentally used his whole hand?"

"Ding dong, his schlong is gone." The one with his eyes closed responded right away, not even opening his eyes. The masked one snorted, banging his chained hands on the table. "Not to worry, his personality is dickish enough to make up for his missing gherkin."

"Wait, what the fuck did you just call it? Gherkin?!"

Patch work shrugged, finally opening his eyes to look at his companion. "Well what else do you call something as deformed and wart covered as that?"

The rabbit was silent for a moment. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you just admit with your own mouth that you've seen his crown jewels and scepter."

"Hey, you're the one that brought up the topic of his wein."

"Hypothetically!"

Before they could continue their banter, the door to the interrogation room flung open and in walked a detective and Aizawa. The two professionals sat across from the two in custody, eyeing them for a moment. The officer cleared his throat, shuffling some papers he had in his hands. "I assume you two know why you're here?"

"My parents fucked." They said at the same time, high fiving one another despite their cuffs.

"I meant in this room. Do you know why you were arrested?"

The rabbit put a hand under their chin, tilting their head to the side. "Is it for truancy?" They held their hands up in a surrender position. "I swear, I had no idea skipping school was a criminal offense!"

"No. You're here because you murdered five civilians."

"Five?" The patch work guy turned to his companion. "I could've sworn it was seven?"