Lavander's hue
Surviving rape once, well that memory was quite fuzzy.
The second one brought back the hell, the torment of the first.
The third shattered me.
And I know I kept asking why I'm too gullible and trusting.
Trust is going to be the death of me!!!.
I imagine doing the less agonizing experience,but each rape was as terrifying as the previous.
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.I meet Emmanuel at the institution ..which I attended at the moment.
He came with his elder sister,for her clearance and some stuffs.
His sister, Amanda hooked us up..
--He's single dear and will really make a good boyfriend-- she said at the Mr pastors popular cyber cafe.
I smiled sheepishly.
"Emmanuel go ahead and take her number" she'd ordered him.
And so he did..
.
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Emmanuel doesn't call, according to him he's not the calling type.
I totally understand,for I rather send a text message to calling.
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He told me about his ex and his bestie.
I couldn't help but wonder" he really do love his bestie".
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What about you ' he asked.
I went ahead to tell him about my ex and how I cheated on him..
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"Bad girl" Emmanuel smiled.hope you wouldn't cheat on me when we start dating..
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I felt embarrassed, and said.
"The cheating part was a joke".
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As days turn to weeks and weeks to months .he asked me out and I accepted.
Emmanuel a very tall slender looking guy.
With an ass of a woman.
Hes so full of him self and wouldn't stop talking about how girls flock over him like flies.
And how I'm lucky I'm dating a happening guy.
.I mentally rolled my eyes.
He's tripping.
.
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And then the red signs appeared.
He wanted me to give him oralsex.i bluntly refuse to.
Emmanuel the son of man raised his hands to slap me.
I watched him raised his arm on me, I waited for it to hit me,yet it didn't.siad it was my fault.
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Where are you going "he said".
Home--i replied..
I'm going home!!.
C'mon Chrissy it's just a suckle it wouldn't hurt, Emmanuel naked on the bed.. looking glorious though,he calls himself "Mr endowed" he truely is though.
If you leave right now you are dead to me..we are off.
Jezz..thank you..I whisper beneath my breath.
What did you say "he asked.. with his breath heavy and his ding-dong g erect.
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I gave his whole body a full glance then dash away before I start second guessing myself.
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Arriving at the office where I worked my boss was already there, waiting for me .
I was with the office key.
Good morning sir,I stammered.
She gave me an evil glance.
Christina..what's the time?look at the time you are coming to work.
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I'm sorry ma I replied.i was here I went to give my mum's something.
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She gave me a long stare hissed and dashed away.
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This woman gives me the creeps...
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.my phone vibrats..
.. Emmanuel...Chrissy..I'm sorry🥺.
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Woah.. mighty Emmanuel, apologized
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Emmanuel has earlier invited me for a sleepover at his place in Benin.
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I can't go with you..I have work ..and don't get me started with my parents.-"I'd answer.
No shakes dear.just lemme know when you ready.he flatly said.
I knew he was angry..
He's always angry.
..
..
Then it happened the text that changed everything.
He'd come around to visit me at the office as usual.
He had earlier written his last exams at uniben.
He came back to vist his sister.
Although I do know it's a way to vist me too.
Emma's family all resides at ogwashi uku..a town not to far from me.he despise the town and would rather stay with his sister during the holidays.
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Babe.im hungry."said he.
I'm low on cash..
I was so busy I gave him a 1000# naira note .
Buy abacha for me ..not the fried one.cool he said.
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.the days filling was hectic.
Loads of file and things to document.
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Bling!! Bling!! Bling!!..
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His phone kept blinging.
Curious mind.
I took a sneekpeak
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"Emmanuel,it's me uche you blocked my numbers right? The child is yours.and this is my mum's number she knows.and I'm not keeping it..you better get the money for an abortion ready before it's too late".
.
.loads of message from that number.
I wouldn't say I was surprised.i was more surprised it's with his bestie. I mean what!!.
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I was hurt..
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Babe.. they didn't have those types of abacha you like,it's the fried ones .he tried to look cute.
I felt a heavy plang of pain in my stomach.i felt disgusted.
I was more ashame of myself, I felt,I saw this coming..
Babe..babe!!!.
Yes ..so you bought the fried ones? I asked.wheres my change?
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. change? Do you have a change?...
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-you piece of shit-..
Now that I looked really closely at him, he look distressed..
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What's wrong with you...I asked.
Nothing!! He cut me off .. flatly..with no emotion.
You know you can tell me anything..I pryed..
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Anything?? He sounded sarcastic..
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.yes anything...
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.ok love .it's almost month ending.. right?
."right".
--lend me some money please--.
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But you know I have school fees and textbook ..
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C'mon don't be selfish...
Like how much are we talking about..I asked.
40k..he shamelessly replied..
Series of questions where passing through my head..all I could say was ..
What do you want to use the money for...
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Jezz.mum!! He scoffed.
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I have had my full..cat cut my tongue..
So you could abort the baby..?
.I stared out the window... expecting a violent reply..
And my guy didn't disappoint.
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He slammed his hands on the big oak office desk.
You caused he said pointing the pinky at me.
You wouldn't vist me at benin.
I was seduced and I fell .it happens,..like you haven't cheated on me like you did with your ex..
He ran series of verbal abuse on me..
.
I just sit right there.absorbing them in.
Nodding ..
Slut like you..
Like I hardly know anything about you.
You are so uptight.
..series and series of insult..
..
verbal insult poured down like the mighty snow.
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When he was done when he has had his fill.
You are dead to me ..he muttered.
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I blink back tears droplet..
Love was suppose to be kind and safe, and enduring.
Not abusive or manipulative..
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The abuse continued on social media..
Tagging me to cruel pages .. uploading degrading things about me..
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Then came the health derogation.
I became really really sick.
First the typhoid, then the ulcer and the fainting.
My doctor said it's pyschological.
I was advised to stay off things like social media. And most people
.
And I did too.i wish I could go on a vacation though.
I deactivated my Facebook account deleted the WhatsApp .
I got my phone formatted..
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.peace..
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New year's day
Time has passed since the Emmanuel incidence.
And I'd still feel null.
It's mid June the blazing hot sun shinye it's Ray of agony on us all, me particular.
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I'd try to get my life back on track.
I joined the church's choral group..
.
Became really involved in things.
My self hurt decreased as time passed..
I had an epiphany, I realized I spent my whole life hating myself.
I knew it wasn't an easy journey.
Might sound weird but.
I really do hate myself.
I hated my face, I have always felt ugly.
I hate my complexion,I always wanted to be very very fair like my dad.
I hate my height..wished I was taller..
So I worked.worked really hard the previous years.
I excercised every chance I get..
I had a rocking hard abs, a plumpy ass .was on my way to recovery ..I think.
.
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I was at peace..
I started writing again..still numerous works unfinished though..
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New YEAR..
.
We moved .
Moved to our parents owned house..
It's quite rural.
Peace of mind..
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The new place dey bush--i texted my brother.
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Atleast they no go pay rent--- he replied.
I know,but the tfare to main town na my salary and more.....I replied.
Marry make u comot for house 🥴🥴---
-
i no dey find husband....
"All the single ladies"...
...
Make I reinstalled WhatsApp.....
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Ok mummy!!.
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Indeed the year felt like the start of something new..
I could feel it..
.
.if killing and kidnapping was the way of life here .I'm sure as hell didn't sign up for it.
Town was empty.household moved.
House owners sold their houses ,.well as for myself and my family.
We moved to my aunt's.
Stay the while.till things calm down..
.
It was quite fun and quite uncomfortable.
Way to begin a new year.
..
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At the break out of COVID I got I touched with and old friend, I think we got back intouch when I'd reactive my socials.
We could talk for minutes on the phone.
There's always something to talk about..
Bitch about our jobs and things.
Then I did the unthinkable.
I fell in love .
I fell visually.
I longed to see him.
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And I did...
