this is me trying c.s

17

"I did."

"They know you guys broke up." He states.

"They do. They also know Jordan and Matt have somethin going on." I say using Jordan as a way out again.

"I swear they're like FBI agents."

"I know! And my tags, full of them."

"They didn't do the best job of trying to hide their flirting." He says.

"True, I remember Jordan said if they do end up dating, she doesn't want to make a whole video saying they're dating. She wants it to be natural and for everyone to just go along with them. The people who watch get to find out when Jordan and Matt do."

"I really respect that. That's actually admirable. Don't tell Matt I said that." His face drops as he points at me.

I laugh, "I won't, I agree. You have to be really vulnerable to do it like that."

"Yeah because what if it doesn't work out?"

"Exactly."

The conversation pauses for a few seconds as we both look at each other. "Would you do it like that?" He asks.

I could play dumb and ask 'what?' but I want to be able to have real conversations with him. "About not hiding things? Yeah, I would but I think it would be really difficult. I would be an open book about your relationship. And a lot of people would post about it and I think that would confuse my feelings. I don't know if that made sense but what would you do?" I laugh at myself, "Hi this is John Quiñones from 'What would you do?'" I say quoting the show.

"Oh my god wait, did you have a phase in quarantine where you watched it too?"

"Yes!" It's the little things we have in common that make happy.

His laughter dies down, "Anyway, back to the question, I don't know. I've never had to do it so I don't really have anything to compare it to besides what I imagine."

I was fighting the urge to ask him if people knew about him and his ex being together but exes are touchy subjects, especially when you're talking to someone new. However, I gave in. "What did you and your ex do?"

"Kept it completely private. We didn't post about it at all. No one knew besides some family and friends."

"Whose idea was that?" I ask not taking a second to think.

"Hers."

"Did you want people to know?" I'm not even that curious, right?

"Yeah. I don't like hiding big things that go on in my life. Especially things I want to share."

"Wait does she post on social media or do anything in this industry?" I ask wondering if I would have seen her from anywhere.

"Yeah she posted vlogs a lot, I don't know if she still does but probably."

"Like as you were together?"

"Yeah."

"And you guys had to hide it?"At this point I'm firing out questions.