I was ready to go out the door on Chris Pratt and I's first date. Until my mom butted in.
"Where are you going?" my mom asked.
"I'm going on a date with Chris Pratt." I replied.
Then my mom looked at me, and tryed to hold in a laugh. But I guess she couldn't hold it in because she started laughing hysterically. She even fell to the floor, holding her stomach cause she was laughing to hard.
"I'm serious, mom." I said. I actually found it extremely rude that she didn't believe me.
My mom stood up and looked surprised.
"Oh." she said as she walked back into the kitchen giggling.
I rolled my eyes. Whatever. I had better things to deal with- like Anna Fartis. Oops. I mean Fartis. Oh- did I say that again? Oops. ;) Anyway, if she has the guts to go on a date with MY boyfriend, I'm gonna make sure it's a bad, BAD date.
I had already forgiven Chris for all this. I mean, all he did was ask her out on a date. But SHE had the guts to say yes when she KNEW we were dating. Inconceivable.
So, in the sluttiest dress I owned and a pocket knife in my purse (just in case), I walked out the door, ready to have MY date with Chris Pratt.
At around 8:00, I arrived at the restaurant Chris was talking about to Anna Faris. I walked through the doors, and there was a huge line for an empty table. Apparently this was a really popular restaurant. But I didn't have time for this; the longer it took me to get to them, the more time they have to talk. And Anna Faris was NOT talking to MY boyfriend. So, obviously, I snuck in.
But it didn't take long for some British guy in a suit to notice me.
"Excuse me, madam. Please wait to get seated," he said in the most annoying British accent I've ever heard.
"But my boyfriends in there!!" I said. I had to get in there.
The British man looked me up and down. He didn't seem convinced that I had a boyfriend. But he finally took out his little list of the reservations for tonight.
"Fine.. what's his name," He said with a bored tone.
"Chris Pratt," I said boldly.
Then for the second time today, someone fell on the floor laughing so hard with just the thought of Chris Pratt and I.
I'd had enough of this, so I shoved past him and began to look around for Chris. Then I saw him- in the corner of the room, by the window, with the scenery of beautiful Manhattan. He had roses on the table, with a nice candle in the middle. It looked so peaceful. Until..
I saw her. HER. Anna Faris. Sitting across the table, looking into MY GUY'S EYES like he was the love of her life.
So of course, I decided to make a grand entrance.
I stood on a table, and jumped up, grabbing onto the chandelier. It swung me across the room, where I was headed straight toward Anna Faris. She looked over, and her face turned from "I'm in love" to "holy shit this is gonna be the reason I die."
That's when it happened.
Feet first, I ran into Anna Faris, and the glass of the window broke as she flew through it. I let go of the chandelier, falling into my boyfriends arms.
Then you'll never believe what happened. MY boyfriend, Chris Pratt, instead of holding me, and asking me if I was okay, (which is what he should of done), he SHOVED ME OFF OF HIM. I couldn't even believe it. But that wasn't even the worst part; AFTER he shoved me away, he went over to check on ANNA FARIS.
"Are you okay?" he said.
My mouth was wide open. I couldn't believe this.
"We'll make sure we get that random girl out of here right away," he said.
Did he just say he was kicking his girlfriend out?
"SECURITY!" he yelled.
Wait, what?
Then, in the matter of seconds, three security guards were grabbing me by the elbows and dragging me out the door.
I couldn't believe this was happening.
Chris was obviously not being a good boyfriend tonight, but of course I would forgive him. I mean, our relationship was strong enough that it would be dumb to break up over a tiny fight.
As I got dragged out of the restaurant, I looked over at Anna Faris and stared at her angrily. Anna, looking frightened, hugged my boyfriend. I was very angry about this. But I would get Anna Faris back. Why, she will be gone in no time at all.
