Do You have a home? Do you have a name? -Wylan Van Eck Oneshot

Do you have a home? Do you have a name?

Wylan was wide awake. It was the dead of the night and he was wide awake. The only thing he could hear was Jesper's deep, even breathing behind him. One of his arms was around Wylan and this and the comforting heat that radiated from the sharpshooter towards him should have been enough to chase away and demons that might troubled Wylan, but tonight they couldn't. Wylan stared into the darkness for a few minutes but since sleep couldn't claim him, he carefully lifted Jesper's arm and slipped out of the room. He ended up in the living room, lighted only by the fire glowing happily in the fireplace. His eyes landed on his mother's piano and his fingers started itching to play. Wylan usually prefered his flute but looking at the grand, magnificent instrument he felt some sort of pull in his chest, one he couldn't resist. Sitting on the bench he lifted the lid, and gently brushed his fingers across all the keys before pressing one of them down. The soft note filled the room, followed by another and another.

Wylan played, not really playing attention to anything. It was just him, the piano and his thoughts that he let lose and wander free. His mother came across his mind. She was the one who put the love he had for music in him. Wylan remembered the two of them sitting at the very bench he now sat, playing together. They were some of his most treasured memories. When he thought his mother was dead he couldn't even look at the instrument. He stuck with his flute. But after two years he sat down and played a single melody, a lullaby his mother played every night to him. Wylan remembered how he couldn't finish the song, how the sobs wracked through him, how it felt incredibly painful and good at the same time. After a good cry he was able to finish the song and it felt like his mother was sitting beside him. His father hated when he played the piano but after this experience Wylan found the time multiple times every weak to play, allowing himself to bathe in the comfort that his phantom mother brought him. Now he had his mother back but it wasn't the same. Sometimes she didn't recognise Wylan. She longed for the eight year old kid she had left behind. It hurt. But when Wylan heard her play the same lullaby she once used to he dared to hope they will be fine.

A few lower notes added a dark shade to the song and his mother's face was replaced by the faces of Kaz, Inej, Nina and Matthias. If he ever had a family it was them. Sure, now he had his mom and he couldn't be grateful enough for that, but before he'd found her and when the gap, the pain caused by Jan Van Eck became to much they were there. Inej with her kind words and silent understanding, Nina with her boldness which always made him laugh or blush or both, with her warm hugs and waffles, Kaz with his cold mask and protectiveness for his Crows (he tried to hide it but they were not blind), and Matthias... Wylan's heart ached. The fact that Matthias had died still hurt a lot. Wylan missed the big Fjerdan who wasn't good with words and blushed just as easily as he did and was always ready to protect their group, to protect Nina.

Wylan's hands flew across the keys, abandoning the lower ones and finding the higher ones, adding a new cheerful melody to the song. His friends' faces started to mold into another one, until all of Jesper's features were clear in front of his eyes. Wylan didn't know such happiness existed what he felt when he was with Jesper. The Zemeni born sharpshooter was like a supernova in Ketterdam's grey sky. He was always loud, always in motion, always flirting with somebody. When they first met Wylan noticed Jesper's handsomeness immeditely, but didn't dare to hope. Then miracle happend. „Maybe I liked your stupid face."Jesper shouted in his face and hope blossomed in Wylan's chest. Now they lived together, they were rich and Wylan was happier than ever. Still he wondered if he was enough for Jesper.

He owned the Van Eck mansion but it wasn't really a home. He owned the Van Eck name but he didn't want it, not after everything his father had done to it. He wasn't Wylan Van Eck. At the same time he wasn't Wylan Hendricks either. He could have been once upon a time, but that name belonged to an eight year old boy, not to him. Not anymore. And he wasn't who he most wanted to be. He wasn't Wylan Fahey. He just hoped that someday he will wear that name. Right now he was just Wylan. In other people's minds he was a member of the Merchant Council, one of the wealthiest men in Ketterdam, one of Kaz Brekker's Crows, lover of Jesper Fahey, but in reality he was just Wylan, a boy fearing that he won't be enough. A tear dripped down onto one of the keys. Wylan didn't realize he was crying.

„Sunshine?" a warm baritone voice, Wylan loved so much called. Wylan turned around and Jesper must have noticed the marks of crying on his face because the sharpshooter crossed the room in three long strides and in maybe two seconds he was wrapped in Jesper's hug. Wylan inhaled Jesper's scent. Coffee, jurda and gunpowder. Home."Are you okay?"

„Yes. Everything's fine. Just couldn't sleep."Wylan answered because how could he not be fine when Jesper was holding him like this. The world sifted and suddenly it was perfect.

Jesper hummed."Feel like you could now?"he rocked them back and forth and Wylan felt his eyelids grew heavy. He nodded into Jesper's chest. Jesper grasped Wylan's hand tightly in his as they made their way back to their room. Wylan was already half-asleep when they reached their door."Sweet dreams, Sunshine."Jesper whispered into Wylan's ear, pulling him close. Wylan smiled. Maybe someday he will be enough.