Chase

5

"South Carolina!?" Nate gapped as I nodded, taking a bite of my muffin.

"Yeah, I know."

I could tell by the look on his face through the screen, he was not pleased. "Chase that's a far drive... are you sure you wanna do this all by yourself?"

"It's not a matter of want Nate it's a matter of need." I said, looking up at him. He still looked displeased.

"I just worry about you."

"I know you do, but it's been like 3 days already and i'm not dead yet."

"Don't say yet, there is no yet."

I smiled, shaking my head at him. "You know what I mean."

"I miss you."

"It's been 3 days."

"Iva had you by my side my entire life, 3 days is a long time!"

"You've gone longer." I shrugged, taking another bite of my muffin. I ignored him for almost a week when he stabbed me in the back and I found out my whole relationship was a hoax... kinda.

"Yeah and they were the worst fucking days of my life."

"Worst days of your life?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry Rose."

"I know, I just like busting your balls." I smiled, tilting my head and making him laugh. "How's everyone doing?"

"Good. They were over last night and are slowly making their way into the kitchen. Speaking of which, Hello Charlie."

"Don't talk to me yet." I heard a tired Charlie mutter, making me smile.

"Hi Charlie!" I called. Suddenly the phone was snatched from Nates hands, and I was met with Charlies half awake face.

"Chase! We miss you, when are you coming back?"

"Not for awhile longer." I said, trying not to laugh as his smile turned to a glare.

"God I hate you. Why would you do this to me? Here take your boyfriend back, he's upset me." Charlie muttered, and soon I was looking at Nate's face.

"Do you need coffee?"

"Yes. Stop talking to me i'm not awake enough for this."

Now that, made me laugh.

"I'll leave you too it then." Nate said with an eye roll. "Anyways, how much longer do you think you're gonna be?"

"Depends on how finding my mom goes." I shrugged. "Maybe another week? 2?"

"Do you think I can fly out and see you?"

"My god you are so needy." I said, shaking my head. "I've gotta get on the road soon, I'll call you in a little bit?"

"Fine. I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled, hanging up the phone... as much as I tease him, I do miss him.... a lot.I got up out of the chair I was sitting in and grabbed my backpack off the floor. I had put everything in the car earlier besides my backpack, but now I was ready to start my drive... The plan was to get as far into the Carolinas as I could, stop at a hotel, and then check in with my grandma. She was trying to do some digging for me, and I'd do some of my own once I got to the hotel.

Every time I googled my mothers name, it felt like nothing came up besides things I already knew... It made me wonder if she had changed her name to start fresh... Or that maybe she didn't want me to find her.

It's not like I could search for my dad either, because I didn't know his name. I tried to ask Mrs. Peters once, but she had no answer... Honestly I don't think she knew his name, or had even cared enough to learn it.

I made my way downstairs to the front desk and checked out, heading outside and hopping into the car, settling myself in for the long drive.

I never really thought of the worst when I thought of finding my mom... I always thought that she'd be so excited to see me, and we'd hug and reconnect and it'd be like she never left... or at least those were my childhood thoughts. Now, I didn't know what to expect. What was she gonna do when she saw me? Would she be upset? Mad? Happy?... I just didn't know... and that kind of scared me.

She left for a reason... she left me for a reason.... and I really wasn't sure what that reason was, but I was hopping maybe that's how I would find out.

I had a lot of questions for my mom. Obviously the why did you leave kinda stuff, but I think my biggest one was... why'd you never come back?

She told me when I was little she'd be back. She called me every once and awhile, wrote me little letters and postcards, but eventually that all stopped. She stopped contacting me, reaching out to me in any way shape or form... she abandoned me.

Maybe I was getting ready to ask some questions I didn't wanna know the answer too... but I needed the answers.

The questions about my dad were probably next on the list. I want too meet him too, but for now I'd have to start with my mom to be able to get to him... I wonder about him a lot, just because I don't know if he even knows about me.

Mom says he did, and he chose to leave, but ever since her disappearance I decided not to take everything she said for truth.

At the time I told Nate this was a journey for me, and he couldn't come with me, but I almost wish I had taken him with me. I think it's good for me to take some space from him, especially after everything, but this is just... a lot to handle on your own. He's said multiple times he'd fly out too me, that we could do this together, but i'm not sure if that's what I want.

I don't really know what I want, I just know I want him.

And i'm missing him like hell.