Setting: The Future, in England
Main Character: Merry Holden; a rich girl who enjoys many luxuries currently not available to mankind.
Merry yawned as she rolled, literally, out of her four poster bed. She continued rolling across her heated carpeting for 30 minutes until she had rolled across her massive room. She stayed horizontal whilst a padded machine tilted her into an upright position, and placed her on her Lightyear Segway.
Her Lightyear Segway was the latest model, ranging from speeds of a lightyear a minute to an inch a minute. It was very handy for travelling through the lengthiest portion of the house her family had always lived in- the hallway. Merry was thankful that she didn't have to walk one thousand miles just to get around the house!
Merry stepped off her Segway and found herself in the kitchen. She frowned as she surveyed the room. It was more than a chef could ever wish for, holding exclusive and expensive items used for cooking, eating, eating, etc.
Merry crossed her hands. She was a little tired of eating waffles and cream-covered pancakes and french toast and enlish muffins with jam and bacon and eggs and... well, the list could go on! Today she wanted a change. She wanted something her tongue would consider foreign. Just then, Merry remembered something. Her late grandfather told her stories about before he was so rich, before Merry's mother had even been born. She recalled a story about a food he would eat on a daily basis. What was it called? Boatpeel? Eatmeal? No, oatmeal! Grandfather Braddock had described it as a "tasteless food, very watery at times, but inexpensive".
Merry had never experienced "tasteless". Even her water was flavored with fruits or minerals and stuff like that.
"Where would one find oatmeal..?" She murmured.
Merry excitedly went back to the kitchen shelves, one of the few unused things in the house. Her finder wasn't programmed to find anything in this section of the kitchen, because she rarely evr ventured this far. She would have to manually search for her mystery food.
After about 5 minutes of back breaking, arm aching work, Merry finally found a packet peeking out from under a door labelled, "oatmeal". She picked it up but the contents poured out of a hole. Can't use that, Merry thought. Maybe there are more of these packets behind the door. Merry's heart began pounding as she placed her hand on the cold doorknob. The sudden feeling caused her to bite her lip. Expecting a vast room filled with shelves and shelves of the stuff, she swung the door open to find a small, dusty box containing only two packages. The room itself was very tiny. Quoting her history book, "average people in the year 2013 would say this was about the size of a closet".
She picked up a package and dusted it off with her hand, and instantly regretted the action. Her hand was now covered with filth. She made a face and rubbed it off on her satin shirt. Looking back at the pouch, she ripped it open at the top and peeked inside to find a dry mix of some seed-like things. After reading more on the still slightly dusty packet, she found instructions and read them before confirming the fact that these were "oats".
After approximately 30 minutes of trying to find her way out, she gave up. Feeling miserable, she sat down and leaned against a large stack of pressure cookers. Just then, she heard her older sister, Glue, somewhere nearby.
"Daddyyyyyyy, my carpet wasn't heated and I had to walk AAAAALLL the way to my Segway," She whined.
"Glue, you know very well that the carpet heating shuts off at 9:30AM to save energy." Her father replied, drily. Merry heard Glue make a few more pouty noises. Merry had reason for hope again. She ran a long a little while and joyfullt found herself back int he kitchen. She poured some milk into a bowl and used the kitchen laser on it, instantly heating it up. She ecstatically poured the contents of the pouch of oatmeal into the warm milk, and watched it slosh around.
Grabbing a spoon, she seated herself at the gigantic dining table, across from a very pouty Glue. She waited for "tasteless" flood her mouth as she dug in. Gleefully she awaited the taste that was tasteless, but nothing happened. She swallowed the mouthful and tried again. Her eyes darted around uncomfortably as she chewed. She finished the whole bowl attempting to bring out the taste, and did nothing had been special about that oatmeal!
She had always wondered what tasteless might actually taste like. It had never ocurred to her that, well, it might not actually have a taste! In a rage, she threw her bowl on the floor. On contact, it shattered.
"PATHETIC! Is THIS oatmeal?! BLEHHHH! a whole hour and fifteen minutes wasted! WASTED ON THIS @#$%!! "
Glue, being the only one left at the table, looked up at Merry when she had yelled the last word. She watched, shocked, as Merry stormed away from the mess she had created. Merry mumbled a few more curses under her breath. She was never having oatmeal ever again.
THE END
Moral of the Story: When you think grapes might be sweet, they might really be sour. (or tasteless, for this matter!) Once you've tasted a sour grape, don't be the sour one then!
A word from the Author
LOL this was kind of something I came up with when I was bored. Don't get me wrong, oatmeal is actually pretty good- but I figured, eating too much rich food, and BAM. Yes, the story is very silly, but hey, It wasn't meant to be serious. I hoped you guys liked it. Feel free to rate it, comment, blah blah blah, and STAY JAZZY!
