"Mya woke me up at three and asked me if I could take her and Ian for a drive. When I asked her why, she just shrugged her shoulders and that's when I realized that she didn't remember herself, but her mind is wide awake with memories that she never got help for. She never saw a therapist. She was never given medication to deal with her depression, her anxiety around being around other people. It took me years to get her to talk to people, to understand that it was okay. I took her, and she broke my heart. She just wanted someone to talk to. She adores you P, and it's hurting her more than you realize. She helped you, remember? She didn't throw any of it back at you. Be there for her and grieve who she was before because Mya is still Mya, but she'll never be the same. If that's what bothering you and making you act this way, then you need to talk to someone about it. You need to realize that this is a clean slate, no matter how much it kills you. You need that weight lifted off of you before she gets further along in her pregnancy. You said you loved her and would be there for her, then prove it, or let her go. One or the other. She doesn't deserve this and neither does your baby. Let me take Ian for a few days so you can attempt to fix this,"
Bowing my head in shame once again, I licked my lips and closed my eyes, knowing that Brian was right in every aspect of his statements. I was out of control and was so close to loosing everything I had ever wanted. I had to fix it somehow. No more anger. No more wishing for what was. Standing there, in the middle of Studio B, I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace wash over my body when I silently left everything to the one above and begged for guidance. I reopened my eyes and agreed to let Brian take him with a simple head nod and a defeated look.
"I don't trust you with her, plain and simple. I don't trust you to not say something. When I told you she isn't supposed to be here, I meant it. She signed another AMA because nobody could convince her to stay. I don't know everything that happened once me and John left the room, but Amber told me that Mya was supposed to be taking it easy until her next appointment, which she's stubborn and not doing. She could very easily miscarry at any time until her second trimester, where the risk trails downward. Unless you want to be the cause of it, I'm going against my better judgement and trusting that you won't add to her stress level. I know she's a grown woman, but I'll have her best interest at heart. Are we clear?" The tone he was using didn't upset me, it sent chills down my spine as if I was being scolded by my father. But, he was right and I couldn't argue.
"If not, I'll take her with me and let you sort through whatever by yourself." He was serious and I didn't want her to leave. I wanted her to stay. Amber showed up outside the door after I buzzed her to bring Ian down. He was in a onesie that was still too big for his tiny body and his skin had water drops on it. He was looking around wide eyed I smiled sadly when Brian took him. "They were in the shower. He was very content in there. For him to be almost four weeks old and have a bond like that with someone who isn't biologically his mother..is incredible. When I went in there, I stopped at the doorway and listened to her just..talking to him, in the best way she could, you know. Then, I caught her talking to her baby bump very softly, in whispers. It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard." Amber mumbled, handing Ian's backpack over and sighing before she waved and vanished around the corner.
"You be a good boy for Uncle Brian, okay buddy? Me and mommy will see you so soon. I love you.." I whispered gently, kissing his cheek as his eyes widened at the sensation of my fascial hair touching him. "You need the car seat, his diaper bag, a playpen, let me-" I started rattling off things and Brian's hand touched my shoulder in order to make me stop talking.
"I got it P. I have a playpen already. His diaper bag is this backpack, the car seat is in the car I drove him around in this morning. This little guy will be very well taken care of, I promise. Anne is gonna die. She loves babies. I also know how to do his pump and everything. But I'm serious, if I find out Mya is stressed, I'm coming to get her." I nodded in understanding for the second time, kissing Ian's cheek one last time and walking away before I could hear him cry.
Seventeen part five.
Start from the beginning
