A Gangster With Roses • Tommy Shelby

falling apart

But the thing was, everything wasn't fine.

"Where were you Tom? You took so bloody long to come back."

He looks away instantly, sighing. "I'm sorry Rosie."

Rose knew, she knew something wasn't right. There was something about that sorry.

"You've been to see that trainer and your horse about a million times and you've never been this late."

Tommy doesn't reply straight away, he fishes a pack of cigarettes out his pocket and holds one out. "You need a smoke, here."

Rose glares at him, shaking her head slightly. "I don't like this..."

"What?" Tommy slowly puts the cigarette down.

"Look where we are Tom, if this is going to be our life then one of us won't be here for much longer."

"Don't say that."

"But it's the truth!" She argues, "This is not the life you promised me. How am I pregnant in police custody?"

"It'll pass." He reassures, feeling guilty inside. "All this will pass."

"It'll pass?" Rose scoffs. "I can't believe you let this happen to me."

"Do you know how much I want to shoot every fucking copper in here, I'd burn this roof down for you if I could, but this is Inspector James playing a game and—"

"Let me guess, you're going to play along too, right? Even at the expense of your own bloody wife."

This was truly inspector James' doing. Even though him and Tommy had an agreement, he was bitter. He had just learnt that Tommy was with his wife, Daisy, the night she committed suicide.

So, as soon as he heard the peaky blinders had sent Harry Kimber to take over The Morrocan club in London, it was the perfect opportunity to make some arrests to send a message.

"No Rosella, that's not it. I'm not letting that bastard do this."

"Sometimes I wonder if this is how love is supposed to feel like." Rose blurts out.

Tommy stops and looks up at her, surprised she'd even say that.

"I am scared everyday that you... you won't come home or..." Rose looks away sorrowfully.

"Hey, hey, hey." Tommy whispers, searching for her gaze. "I'm not going anywhere."

Rose felt so guilty for Theo kissing her. She knew she had to tell Tommy. Yet little did she know he was in his own entanglement too.

"But we're not the same anymore." Rose croaks. "I'm not the same girl that barged into The Garrison when my dad was having a meeting with you."

"We all grow, life changes us, it's natural."

"I'm not twenty one anymore, you're not just the local gangster that would bring roses to my bedroom window. We're not the same people that fell in love."

"W-what are you saying?" Tommy's brows furrowed.

"What I'm saying is if you died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to remember us this way."

That sentence stopped the traffic and clatter in Tommys mind, it was the harsh truth.

"I just feel like I never had the chance to properly grow, to find myself." Rose's voice was breaking as well as her heart. "I don't regret a thing I just feel like I'm living life backwards or something. I love you but I'm losing parts of myself."

Tommy nods slowly to himself, taking in her words, he holds her hand. "First thing I'll do when you get out is buy you a new typewriter, so you can write. How does that sound? Eh?"