T or D Book 3: DO OR DIE

I'm Sick of Blue Milk (J.W.)

Seashell: There's a number of factors at play with that. Author energy levels, time avaliability, what dares sound fun and/or funny at the current moment, meme trends, upcoming holidays and/or important fandom events-

Air: LIKE DEAN WINCHESTER'S BIRTHDAY.

*Dean Winchester appears*

Air: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE??

Nightflyer: New dare. Anytime you make a Destiel reference, he has to judge you.

Air:...........

Dean:...........

Air:....Dean is 43, as of January 24th, and he had a delightful party with all his friends and family, all of whom brought pie, and he forced Sam, Cas, and Jack to watch cowboy movies with him. And later that night, Destiel things happened.

Dean:......

Dean: Sounds pretty accurate, not gonna lie. Who's the dude in the shrine?

Kelp: TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-

Joy: Anyway, dare time. Turtle, we need you to jump on this trampoline.

Joy: *gestures to a trampoline shaped like this*

Turtle:.......That is NOT a trampoline.

Joy: Yes it is.

Turtle: That's the angry rocket from Mario Kart.

Joy: It's definitely a trampoline.

Turtle: Have you been on a trampoline?

Joy: Yep.

Turtle: And you know what a trampoline LOOKS like?

Joy: Yep.

Turtle: THIS is a picture of a trampoline. What you're showing me is Bonzai Bill from Super Mario, which is in no way shaped like a trampoline.

Joy: That makes sense to me.

Turtle: Then give me a trampoline to jump on.

Joy: That is a trampoline.

Turtle:............

Turtle: It's going to eat me, isn't it?

Joy: Definitely.

Turtle: *long suffering sigh* Fuck it.

Turtle: *high fives Kinkajou, jumps on the trampoline*

Turtle: *bounces on trampoline*

Turtle: HOLY SHIT, IT'S ACTUALLY A-

Trampoline: *eats Turtle*

Winter: HA!

Moon: IT'S NOT FUNNY.

Winter: It's kinda funny-

Seashell: Hmm, since we have the space, let's do a bunch of small dares, shall we?

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Macaw appears*

Joy: AH! *throws a bucket of acid on him*

Macaw: *screams and slowly disintegrates*

Kelp: *in mock Wicked Witch voice* I'm MELTING, I'M MEELLLTTTIIIINNNNGGG-

Rainkeeper: Oh, what a world, WHAT A WOOORRLLLLDDDD~

Seashell: *sighs and snaps talons*

*Macaw reappears*

Joy: *raises second bucket of acid*

Seashell: COULD YOU DO THE DARE FIRST??

Joy: Fiiiiine. *looks at Macaw*

Joy: Roses are red, Violets are blue, they mean nothing and SO DO YOU! *dumps acid*

Macaw: *dies screaming*

Nightflyer: *sighs* Great, now we have to change the floors.

Air: The floors?

Nightflyer: You see his blood it drained into the boards, and I had to change them

Air: We all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us.

Kinkajou: What??

Nightflyer: Every day I worry all day, about what's waiting in the bushes of love

Qibli: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Winter: WHAT BUSHES?

Nightflyer: Something's waiting in the bushes for us.

Kinkajou: What's in the bushes, Nightflyer??

Air: Something's waiting in the bushes of love.

Amber: I'VE GOT IT.

Amber: It's the Woohoo bush from the Sims 4. Now it makes sense.

Carnelian: IT DOES NOT???

Joy: That was surprisingly theraputic- we should do that every week.

Kelp: Great idea, lovely.

Joy: *entire body shudders, jumps, and radiates disgust at once*

Joy: What the FUCK did you just say?

Kelp: Lovely. Lovely Joy.

Joy: *stares*

Joy: Who are you and what have you done with Kelp?

Kelp: Nothing, I'm still me, Joy.

Joy: *looks distressed*

Joy: What do you call me.

Kelp: Joy?

Joy: As like pet names and stuff- WHAT DO YOU CALL ME???

Kelp: Joy, Jo, Murderous cinnamon roll, sweetheart, darling, wifey,

Joy: Okay-

Kelp: Sometimes when you're not there I call you a danger fruit and a cute butterfly-

Joy:....We'll come back to that-

Kelp: Honey, lovely-

Joy: *screams*

Kelp: What?

Joy: I THINK I'M HAVING A LIFE CRISIS AND A PANIC ATTACK AT THE SAME TIME, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!

Kelp: ALRIGHT, I DID IT, DONE NOW, DARE OVER.

Kelp: I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU THAT-

Joy: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT-

Kelp: I KNOW, I'M SORRY-

Nightflyer: YO, NEVER KNEW MY DAD HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ME-

Winter: YOUR DAD IS STARFLIGHT???

Carnelian: I mean that doesn't mean he cared about you but-

Air: Dead horizon is all my macrobinoculars see, Moisture-farming all my life, not a drop spilt

Nightflyer: My aunt and uncle, double suns, I'm sipping blue milk-

Kinkajou: *crying* WHY IS THE MILK BLUE???

Air/Nightflyer: My aunt and uncle, double suns, I'm sick of blue milk!

Carnelian: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!