His Eyes (Gilbert Blyth) Anne with an E

Chapter 18: Season 3 Final Episode

Gilbert had been caught staring at her lips. He couldn't help but think they looked like soft rose pettles. If it hadn't been for Billy Andrews for dropping his pencil, he feared that he might have gotten caught by someone. It had also been the first time that he felt an attraction towards someone. He had never thought of anyone like this.

It seemed that she had grown into her personality and her aura that was larger than life. She was beautiful. With his mind running through a rose coloured maze Gilbert did not learn anything that day. Instead he contemplated posting on the take - notice board. But it felt like too much of a mundane means of catching her attention. Anne Shirley Cuthbert deserved a gesture. His realisations made moments he had experienced earlier make sense.

Anne's face so close to him as they blew out Christmas tree lights. His heart had stopped beating. The pride he felt when she took so well to Sebastian.

The dance. It was as if the whole world disapeared and they didn't even need to talk. Perhaps that was their problem all along.  Talking over each other.  Their disagreements had tiled him up so much because he found himself, simply caring. He cared what she thought of him. Her regard meant the most to him.

A kiss perhaps. He had learnt from his rash behaviour of calling her carrots. He also knew that she needed a private moment where the drama of their schoolmates would be far away. He found himself thinking about kissing her more than ever.

He found that she smelt of wild flowers in the spring and summer. Sometimes she would smell of baked goods abound raspberry jam. It was as if a switch in his head flicked, she had become something else entirely.  And he could never see himself just being friends with Anne.

It had gotten so bad that she had even invaded his dreams. It seemed everywhere he looked - she was there. Cooking with Mary in his kitchen. It was on these occasions that he would steal extra buiscuits from the counter.

"Gilbert!" Mary yelled after him as he would skip out laughing. It made his train trips into the city weigh on his heart. She had rejected him. He asked and expressed his feelings to her, but she didn't feel he same.

Oddly enough it made sense in his brain. He didn't seem good enough for the likes of Anne. He imagined that she would grow tiered of him and his mundane lifestyle. Gilbert was one for structure and it was more common that his tomorrows mimicked the days before. Anne was a vibrant force that he knew would have shaken his ideas and sprinkled flowery ideas between the pages of his mind. His heart felt settled on Toronto and creating himself into a man that would be worthy of someone like Anne.

His life was settling. He had his university acceptance letters and his calculations for his travel expenses. Heck, Gilbert's bags were packed. All he needed to do was get on the train and leave. Why did it feel so difficult to leave. 'Because leaving means leaving Anne behind' the voice in his brain reminded him.

He hadn't left his house in days, pouring himself into working on the farm with Sebastian. He didn't even know if Anne had left for Queens yet. It was the day of his departure arrived like any other. He collected his things and with heavy heels boarded the train and sat by the smoking cart. His chest felt tight and his lungs cried out for fresh air. It was enough to push his body to move on its own down the narrow hallway towards the other end of the train.

"Mr Barry, Dianna. I didn't know you were on board. I'm moving seats. I was too close to the smoking car" his breath came out strong, as he recognised the pair.

"Congratulations on your impending nuptials, dear boy. You must be in a flurry of wedding plans. Humph?" guilt built up as Mr Barry continued taking, it swarmed like bees in the pit of his stomach in memory of his rejection of Winifred. He had stopped listening as the man continued to speak.