The Virgin Mommy

Chapter 1-The Mistake

            “Mandy Kennings, I have an appointment with Dr. Murphy at 2:00” I told the receptionist when I walked into the OBGYN’s office. It was a nice place, I looked around the waiting room full of women ranging about 18-over 50 years old. Some were pregnant, but most were just here for a check-up, like me.

            I saw the receptionist look at her clock reading 1:53. “Hello again Ms. Kennings, you have a few papers to fill out while you wait,” she said as she handed me a clipboard. “It’s mostly just to confirm the info we have in our database is still correct; address, phone numbers, emergency contacts, that kind of stuff. The second paper is about how you’ve been the past year. Please fill it out and keep that one with you and give it straight to the doctor, but bring the first paper back to me,” she told me with a smile.

            “Thanks, will do,” I replied. Great, another year of checking that little box admitting I’m not, nor have I ever been, sexually active. At 24-years old I was beginning to feel like a total loser. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never had a boyfriend, but never one that lasted long enough for me to give myself to him completely.

            I sit down on one of the chairs in the waiting room next to a lady who is about 6 months pregnant. Well she doesn’t have to check the ‘not sexually active’ box, I thought to myself. I fill out the info and take the first paper back to the receptionist when I’m done and she just smiles at me when I give it to her, indicating the doctor is not ready for me yet. I sit back down and wait another 15 minutes before I’m finally called back.

            “Mandy Kennings,” a nurse says. I get up and walk to her and she holds the door to the back open while I walk through. “This way,” she instructs so I follow. She leads me to a scale and takes my height and weight. Then she leads me to a room and takes my blood pressure. “Everything looks good,” she informs me. She reaches into a cabinet on the wall and pulls out a paper robe. “Please undress and put this on, the doctor will be in with you soon.”

            After waiting another 10 minutes my doctor finally comes in. “Ah Ms. Kennings!” he says like I’m his favorite patient ever. “Great to see you again. How have things been this past year?”

            “Oh same old, same old,” I reply. “Won the lottery, married a rich politician, saved the human race from a life-threatening epidemic.” I’m a very sarcastic person, I’m just glad Dr. Murphy has figured this out by now.

            “Ms. Kennings, it’s nice to know you still have your sense of humor in tact. Now, do you have the paper you were given at the front?” he asked. I nodded and handed it over to him. “Mmmm, okay, so just an external exam then,” he stated with a small smile.

            Great, he was either laughing at me or pitying me because he just saw I’m still not sexually active. I lean back on the chair and put my legs in the stirrups on the side. I suddenly feel very embarrassed as my male doctor leans his head down under my robe to my downtown area. After a quick 5-minute exam my doctor looks up at me with a concerned look. I sit up when he gestures I can, ready to receive bad news.

            “Ms. Kennings, this is nothing to fret over, but I’m seeing a few abnormalities and I would like to perform a pap smear to check everything out, just to be safe,” he says. I instantly start to freak out in my head. Oh my God it’s cancer, I’m gonna die! Or it’s something that will prevent me from having kids! Oh gosh, Lord help me please! I have always wanted to be a mom, please don’t take this away from me!

            Dr. Murphy obviously notices my internal freak-out session. He places a hand on my shoulder and forces me to look him in the eye. “Everything will be alright Ms. Kennings, don’t worry.”

            With Dr. Murphy’s assurance, I begin to relax. He steps out to get stuff ready for a pap smear, I assume. I’ve never had one before, but I don’t think it will be pleasant, especially for a virgin. I begin to freak out again, only this time about the actual exam, not the results it may or may not bring.

            With my internal struggle, I almost don’t realize it’s been 20 minutes since Dr. Murphy left. I’m about to jump down and go look for him when another doctor, female, comes in.

            “Hello Ms. Keldings, I’m Dr. Fillips, Dr. Murphy had to leave suddenly due to a patient of his in labor. I’m helping take on his clients for the rest of the day.”

            “Oh, okay. Nice to meet you Dr. Fillips; and it’s Ms. Kennings by the way, not Keldings.”

            “My mistake,” she replies, a bit hurriedly. “Are you ready?”

            I nod in reply, afraid that if I speak my voice will give away that I am the opposite of ready. I know that I need to do this so I take a deep breath, controlling the urge to run out of the office and never return.

            Dr. Fillips rolls her tools over to her side as I put my legs back in the stirrups. She examines me and before starting she asks, “Are you sure about this? It could be very painful for you seeing you’re a virgin.”

            Yeah, I know it’s going to be painful! Way to remind me. “Yes I’m sure,” I reply back to her. “I need to.” And I really do need to. I need to know if there is anything wrong with me so I can get it fixed right away and go on with my life.

            “Okay then, let’s get started,” she replies. I’m not sure what was going on down there, all I can say is it really was painful!