ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

38

I shoved past a couple girls loitering by the door and locked myself into the farthest stall to the door.

I hated public restrooms, this disgusting floor and toilet, and walls. I refrained from ever touching anything.

But I just needed a breath, it was like the guilt of it all was wrapping itself around my lungs.

I need air.

I exited the bathroom and pushed the back door open, the back of the building coming open as the cold winter air hit me. I rubbed my arms while breathing in the air.

"Drama at the table?"

I whipped my head to the side to see a man, by the looks of it he seemed to have worked at the restaurant, maybe in his early twenties, maybe even late teens.

"Pardon?"

"Your cheeks are wet, and your collar is rung out.. tugging on it?" He leaned back while taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"You're pretty nosy." I mumbled.

I watched him remove his Jean jacket and drape it over my shoulders.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"If you're at least going to have a mental break you shouldn't be cold in the process, what is it?" He asked.

"I don't exactly think it's a good idea for me to be spilling my feelings to a stranger." I bit my lip.

"Think of it as a one night stand but instead of sex it's secrets." He smiled as the smile left his lips and blew away with the wind.

"I just, I feel like I would feel even more unstable if I spilled my life story to you, I'm sorry." I clutched my arms to my chest while frowning.

"I won't tell anyone."

"How about this, you tell me about your day and I'll listen. Maybe your amazing day will uplift me." I chuckled as he smiled.

"Actually my day was complete shit, I slipped on ice walking here, a customer spilled soup on me and I have rent due today and I'm pretty sure I don't have enough, so maybe we'll each other again when I'm living in a bus stop with my dog lily." He flashed his pearly white at me and smiled.

"That does suck." We both laughed and a small weight was lifted off my chest.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out some money.

"Here, maybe you won't have to live in a bus shelter with your dog lily."

"I'm not taking your money."

"Raised well.. well if you don't take it I'll use it to pay so it'll be going into your pay check anyways." I eyed him with a lifted brow before he took the money.

"I have to get back in, my breaks over but I'll see you inside.." He waited for my name before I nodded.

"Ariya and.."

"Dominic."

"Well hopefully I'll give you even more of my money when I pay for my food, Dominic." I emphasized his name.

"Hopefully." He smiled before heading into the building. I quickly grabbed his arm and handed him his jacket.

"Thanks." He smiled.

I leaned back on the cold, brick wall before hearing the door open. There was Amara with my jacket in her hands. I smiled while slipping it onto my body.

"You alright?"

The dreaded question.

Her voice was soft.

"Halfway." I breathed honestly.

"Come on babe, stop crying." She reached forward while wiping the smeared mascara on my cheeks.

"I just, I just don't know what to do anymore, Amara." I shrugged while biting my lip.

"I know, I know." She nodded.

"I can't keep keeping this secret, I don't think I'm capable of keeping it anymore. I lay awake at night wondering if I had only told him, I wake and think of our life if I had just told him those two words, god." I groaned in pain. It felt like the burden was squeezing the pain out of me. I couldn't be this close to Khyson, I couldn't intentionally lure Rylans biological father to him just to not tell him. Who does that?

"I know, I know babe. I know it hurts but you're going to wipe your tears and go back in there, okay. You're strong, okay?" She nodded sternly.

I nodded while sniffing back at my nose.

"I'm strong." I repeated.

"Go we sound like those video reels that teachers make depressed teens watch." We both laughed before she engulfed in a warm hug.

"I don't know what I would do without you, you know."

She rubbed my back before leading us back into the restaurant. I sat down at the booth as Khyson eyed me.

"Everything alright?"

"Just some lady business."

With that comment they both shut up and we continued to eat.

Khyson eyed me wearily. I've been dreading the day he asks why I left, when we'd have to talk. When I wouldn't be able to run away and hide in the bathroom. Wallow in my own grief.

To be honest I wish I could just disappear and live my life anonymously. Live as a extra