Loki x Reader: Into the MCU

Chapter 32: Aftermath

"Yeah, for himself," Bruce said, "The man's still reeking crazy! She's as valuable to him as she is to Hydra, and I don't think we should treat one threat as friendly just because he's playing nice."

"The unfortunate truth about the situation, and really about Loki in general, is that we won't know his intentions until he makes them known. We won't see his betrayal until it happens," you said.

"All the more reason to not have him around!" Bruce exclaimed.

"No, all the more reason to hope he's on the right side and to help him do the right thing. If he's never given the chance, then he will never change."

"He's been given chances, Wren. And with that chance he exiled his father and took the throne," Bruce stressed his point.

"But he didn't want to change then. In the future he does, and we're just trying to make that future happen now. He needs a path to redemption that doesn't end in him getting his neck snapped by Thanos!"

Bruce just frowned, letting out a sigh.

"Look, I think it's really nice that you want to save everyone, and I hope we can...but we have to be careful that your desire to do that doesn't lead to a different equally bad outcome with him."

"What could be equally bad to Thanos snapping out half of life???"

"Loki with all of the stones???" Bruce suggested like it was the obvious and worst possibility.

"Trust me, I've been down that line of thought."

"She has. She didn't want to talk about the stones in front of him in case he wanted to get them for himself," Nat confirmed.

"So what's changed since then?" he asked.

You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn't put into words what had changed. Not in front of them anyways. Maybe Loki had fooled you successfully in the span of ten days, or maybe he was genuine. Either way, you felt like so much had happened in such a short amount of time, and it seemed like you knew Loki better now than you ever could have through a movie. Your initial fear regarding his motives, which was justified given your knowledge of his character in the films, was replaced by this sense of trust. He's a very good liar...but you'd seen him butter people up before, and you'd seen his lying face. The way he'd promised he wasn't going to kill you was sincere, the most sincere you'd ever seen him. But not killing you wasn't the same thing as not backstabbing you or the team.

"I don't know," you finally answered, "Maybe the fact that he's saved me multiple times now? But I know Loki's tactics better than most here, with the exception of Thor. And there's something different about what he's doing. He doesn't have to be here, but he is. He has all of the info from me that could be useful to him, yet he still helps me. He still helps us. I just...I've gotten the sense since the Knowhere trip that he's...that he's actually ok with the change that's happening. From the moment he's given up the throne, he's gotten his brother back, who I know he really does love, his father back, who had kind words for him because he realized how much Loki was hurt by the way he handled the whole adoptive son thing, and, whether he'll admit he enjoys it or not, he's gotten to work with a team and not alone. The one thing I know for certain about Loki from the films/shows is that he's scared of being alone. That's why, I think, there's this noticeable change in him that I can't place...I think he's not alone anymore, and he secretly likes that. So I hope he won't throw that away."

"For someone who's scared of being alone, he certainly pushes away those that care about him. How many times has he tried to kill Thor?" Nat said.

"I know I know, he's also pushed away the only friends he had. The Warriors Three, Lady Sif, Thor, etc. But I think they were always more of Thor's friends. Loki was a loner, someone who studied and practiced magic and preferred the art of intelligence and guile to the very forward very aggressive manners of Thor. He acted out all the time because he craved attention, something he subconsciously felt he lacked. I don't know if Odin was a bad father, as the only flashback we see of the two of them as kids is a happy one, with him being kind to both. But Odin's fear of messing up with his Frost Giant son must have shone through somehow, with Loki noticing something was off. Especially if he bonded more with Frigga and Thor more with Odin. In that case, there may not have been much common ground for Odin to continually show Loki praises as Thor received? Whatever the case may be, Loki has always pushed people away with his attempts to seek attention. And think about it...the more Loki acted out, even with the whole New York thing, the more attention he got from others. From his brother, from his father. Not the attention one would normally seek, but every time Loki acted like no one loved him, it only caused Thor to proclaim it more and more. The hurt and twisted part of Loki didn't want to believe it, because it's easier to be angry, but he most likely craved the moments where Thor would do this. It isn't until Thor gives up on repeating it that Loki finally does the right thing. Thor basically tells him that he's always thought he could be so much more, but that if he's content to never change then that's on him. Thor's no longer wishing and begging him to be good, instead he's done with it. Done with Loki, done with trying. He leaves him on the floor to get continually zapped with the neck taser things of this place. When the people who have always loved us finally give up on us, it makes us realize we always had them. Like how you don't appreciate what you had til it's gone? Loki always had Thor's love, and probably that of their friends. But he felt lesser, so acted out. He let anger and grief and loneliness fuel his actions, which Thanos turned onto the city of New York. But when Thor abandons him, finally giving up, Loki sees that he was never really alone, because now he finally was left alone. The only thing standing in his way was himself. So he goes back to Asgard and helps, doing the selfless thing. And when Thanos comes for the Tesseract, we see Loki try to resort back to his bitterness. It's easier to let sentiment burn, as he puts it. But that's true when you're caught up in your own lies you've convinced yourself are the truth. He can't fall easily into that act anymore, however, because he's changed. He tries to tell Thanos that he can go ahead and kill Thor. But he can't pretend. He yells for Thanos to stop seconds after, instead handing over the Tesseract in exchange for Thor's life. And then, when he thinks there's no way Thor makes it out of here alive, he tries to kill Thanos. Where was I going with this?" you asked, realizing you'd gone on a long-winded defense of Loki once again.