clean » larry stylinson

[07]

and when heavy footsteps sound against the timber, louis is just ashamed more than anything.

his tongue weighs down in his mouth, an endless supply of excuses as to why he is sitting here, holding back his tears, run through his clouded head, though none of them could possibly ever make sense to someone other than him.

they fall short into broken stutters.

"christ lou ... " the jacket held within liam's firm grasp falls limp. dropping to the floor into a piled mess.

nobody speaks, and then louis is being held. arms wrapped tightly around his body, holding him still as he shakes. as he thrashes.

"get off me! leave me alone!" he screams into the boy's grasp, suffocating as he struggles to breathe through the next wave of tears.

liam doesn't let go, and in that moment louis decides that never before has he felt so miserable. never has he felt smaller, more pathetic, than he does now. he just needs to not be touched, not even be seen, and more than ever, he needs it all to end. he can't do it anymore.

"calm down! oh god, think happy thoughts? what the hell am i meant to say to -"

nothing else is heard because louis hands are held tighter to his ears, since no. nobody could see him like this. liam couldn't be here. he really couldn't. his friend was talking when all he needed was silence. his friend was touching him, trying to move him, when all that he really could do was to sit there, on the floor, bing still.

" - 'm sorry louis. god, i'm sorry. please understand." liam's voice is still frantic when louis uncovers his arms.

there's a phone in liam's hand, his fingertips already punching in buttons as he looks on with wide eyes towards his best mate. he can't think of anything to say besides small apologies once louis begins to catch on. the older boy's head shakes slowly.

"no. no liam don't you dare."

it doesn't matter who is on the other end of the line. louis doesn't know many people but, fuck, no option would be any less humiliating. his eyes flick hysterically from liam's warm brown eyes, which provide no comfort, to the phone raised in his hand.

"i'll never forgive you if you do this. hang up damn it!" his fist clenches until he can feel his bitten-down nails digging deep into the palm of his hand. with just a squeeze more, he welcomes the sweet stinging of blood transforming the tips of fingers' colour.

he knows more than anything that he shouldn't be angry at liam, but, god, he needs to scream and finally, the folds of liam's shirt are providing the perfect muffle for his voice.

and so, he yells.

louis' cries drag on, they last until his throat is numb, and the flame within his chest has transformed into rocks within his stomach. they go on until there is no sound left to be heard and louis' tears are being wiped off of his face by a hand other than his own.

heavy lashes, painted black with tears, rise upwards to a sight that leaves louis heart pounding once again, but simultaneously, twisting it into a million more knots.

his arms are wrapped around himself in self-comfort, roommate nowhere in sight, and there is a boy, the same boy causing himself to lose all control, kneeling in front of him and running the side of his hand along the swell of louis' cheek.

with a touch as soft as rain, harry continues to wipe away the small droplets of tears, pooling in the corner of his eyes and sliding down the side of his face; even though there are new ones forming only seconds later.

louis begins to cry harder when harry begins to gently push his fingers through his feathery mess of hair, his eyes pleading with him even though, really, he has no idea what louis is so torn up about.