The Teenage Broken Heart

Growing up, to become a mistake

I started middle school off, becoming a lady. I started my period a week before school started. And when I had my first period my mom decided I was old enough to shave, and use make up. It was all so different. I couldn't put make up on, and when I did I looked like I was goth. I wore a bunch of dark clothes, I didn't want to look goth it was just the point black matched everything. I don't know how to match clothes very well so I stayed simple.

In the beginning of middle school, I had good grades and everything was going great. Until I developed a crush on a boy. See I wasn't the most popular girl, because I didn't buy my clothes from the mall, I shopped at Walmart cause the clothes were affordable for a single dad. My mom wasn't exactly helping out much with buying clothes. Normally my Nana would take us shopping and buy it all but Nana wasn't doing so well. But back to the boy. He was one of the rich boys, he was popular and I wasn't the most attractive girl. Well, I passed him a note to tell him I liked him. Well that was a mistake. He told all his friends and he made fun of me. Then my supposed best friend ended up getting with him right before Christmas break. I cried that day in class. I was so upset that I liked a boy and someone took him from me. That day I said I wouldn't let no boy I like be taken from me. Through the rest of the school year I liked this boy name Kyle. He wasn't the coolest guy but he was a sweetie. He was also the biggest player I met. I just talked to him cause he made me happy. We dated for a bit but that was about it. Other girls wanted him and I just wasn't good enough for him. So my boy crushes were over with for the year. Cause I realized no one wanted me so I might as well focus in other stuff.

By the time I started to focus something went wrong. One day my mom called the school and told them for me to be picked up by car instead of bus. I didn't know what was going on cause this was unusual. When Susie and I were in the car my mom said "We have to go by your Nana's, she isn't doing to well."

"What do you mean? Is she in the hospital again? Is she going to be okay?" I said crying.

My mom tried to be gentle and gave me a minute. "Brandi, they don't think she is going to make it past this week."

I didn't know what to do. My Nana was the only person I had. She was the one person I loved more then anything. She was the one who cared for me and not Susie, Cynthia, or Hannah. She cared for them but she gave me more attention because she knew they got all of it when we were at home. When I asked to come over and so did Susie they'd tell Susie no and tell me I could. Susie always got so mad about this.

As we arrived at my Nana's my dad, and aunt were there. I sat down in my dad's lap, and he said "She's been asking to see her deal."

It made me cry. My Nana called me her little deal. I always spelt it different but it made it original to me. She said you'd always be my little deal. You were my deal the day you were born and you'll be my deal till the end. I couldn't handle someone calling me deal after that day cause that was the last day I heard her call me that. My Nana was unable to speak. She would speak but it wouldn't make much sense. I spent time with her. I held her hand and hugged her till we had to go.

I came back a few days later, I begged my mom to take me. I had to see her I didn't care what happened. Everyone was there, my aunt shelly, cousins jerry and jasmine, dad, the whole family. There was even a hospice. Because they knew today would be the last day. Susie didn't come because she didn't want to see her like this. I sat down with the family as my mom went to talk to my dad. The hospice came in a few minutes after I sat down and she said "It's time to say your last goodbyes, she won't make it much longer."

No one would let me in the room to see her. It killed me, I kept saying "I don't care what she looks like I need to see my Nana, I can't lose her!"