Helveryst Series #2 : The Cassanova and The Hater

Chapter 38 - Facilitating

I carefully hold the box of cake so it won't be messier inside."I-Is he mad? Do you think he still want to see me?"

"Hindi 'yon magagalit sa'yo..nagtatampo, siguro. But once he will see you right now, I'm sure it will suddenly fade. Malakas ka sa kanya, eh," pagpapalakas niya ng loob ko.

I sighed and nodded. When I glanced at my wrist watch, it was already 11:30 PM. I still have 30 minutes before his birthday is over. I need to hurry up.

I slowly walk upstairs, holding the cake on my other hand. Ilang beses akong huminga nang malalim bago pinihit ang doorknob na hindi naman pala naka-lock. Nang makita ko ang nasa loob ay niluwagan ko ng konti ang pagkakabukas ng pinto para makapasok ako. I saw him sitting on the other side of the bed, turning his back on the door. The lights were dim so I could still see the way to his bed.

Alam kong alam niya na may pumasok pero hindi siya nagsalita. Maybe he's thinking that it's just one of his brothers or Kat. I slowly put the box on the bed and opened it to show the cake. Nagdala ako ng lighter kaya 'yon ang ginamit ko para sindihan ang cake. Napansin niya naman kaagad 'yon kaya lumingon siya sa'kin, nakaawang pa ang bibig.

"Happy birthday...again. Make a wish." I sat on the bed near him, handing the cake.

He was stiffened for a bit but eventually leaned on to do what I said. He closed his eyes for a couple of minutes before opening it again to blow the cake. I placed the cake on the bed and didn't stop myself from hugging him.

I cried silently on his arms when I remembered what I've said to him.

"H-Hey..Why are you crying?" he panicked.

"I'm sorry for all that...I did. Hindi ko 'yon sinasadya. I was unaware of---"

"Hush. I know. You don't have to explain it. Hindi naman ako galit." He caressed my hair, hugging me back.

Mas lalo lang akong naiyak."How could you not get mad on me? Ang sama kong tao. I don't deserve anyone. Palagi na lang akong nakakasakit ng iba."

"Stop saying that to yourself. There's nothing wrong on you. Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba. What's matters to me is only you. Got that?"

He always comforts me no matter what happens. Nand'yan siya palagi para sa'kin..pero ako hindi man lang siya nadamayan sa mga problema niya. And it's because I was the problem here. Ang gulo ko kase, eh. Nakakainis!

Kumawala ako sa pagkakayakap niya at tumingin sa kanya."I hurt you...for so many times. A-Ayaw mo na ba sa'kin?"

"I left you, not because I've replaced you. I let you go, not because I don't love you. But because I want you to find someone better than me even if it hurts the shit out of me," he answered sincerely.

I made a face because of that."No one's better. You're enough for me. I don't want anyone else."

"What do you mean? Zeriel, you're making me confused." Kumunot ang noo niya.

I sighed when he did not get my point easily."I want to be with you. Let's be together...as couples."

Umawang ang bibig niya at hindi kaagad nakapagsalita. I felt...so awkward that's why I looked away to avoid his gaze. Did I said it not on time? Dapat ba naghintay pa ako ng perfect timing? Pero wala nga kaseng gano'n!

"Are you sure about it?" he asked, bitting his lower lip.

I nodded without looking at him."Y-Yeah. What do you think?"

Kinabahan lang ako lalo nang matahimik ulit siya. He might think that I'm doing this as a birthday gift. But what if...he already changed his mind?

"That's the thing I've been wishing for, Zeriel. I want to be with you...but you have to settle yourself first. Your personal problems...you have to fix it." His voice become lower.