Lost girl, eh? Try lost mind, lost intentions, lost heart. As I lay next to my mate, I wonder what he's thinking. Is he still attracted to me? Is it lost love, is he still interested in me? As I'm laying here next to my husband thinking the worse, he out of nowhere tells me he loves me and pulls me close. Instantly I stare blank into his eyes as he reassures me, he's into me but as I tell him I love him back I daze back into my thoughts. The sun rises and I awake still exhausted from the night before from my tosses and turns thoughts hunting my dreams, I awake to reality. I rush to make breakfast for my husband and our children. Not realizing as I am cooking, I start to wonder, am I doing this right? Am I doing enough? Never mind that I don't have enough time in the day to question anything here comes my beautiful family greeting me in the kitchen everyone so excited to see me. Derreck kisses me on the forehead followed by our little people kissing my cheek, the love feels so genuine and warm. How could I question their love for me, obviously I'm doing something right, but it doesn't feel as so? Derreck tells me to get dressed he's taking me out tonight by my surprise I rushed upstairs to find something to pair together. My hair a mess my face has broken out I don't have nothing nice to put on, but I must get it together we haven't gone on an outing in forever so who am I to complain. My dear husband found us a babysitter and we headed out I sit quiet in the passenger seat anxious to see where he takes me, it feels like the very first date. Butterflies, eh? We pull into a spot I never seen before; he tells me to wait for him to come open my door I began to blush. We walk towards the back he has this romantic dinner set up privately just for me! Time is going slow as I wanted it to, I never want this night to end were laughing and having the time of our lives. Out of nowhere my thoughts creep up I began to wonder do he honestly mean everything that happen tonight, or does he feel bad for me? Ungrateful, eh? My laughter turned into giggles and my face looked as though I just received unpleasant news. My husband knows me so well he tries to take my mind of my thoughts he instantly took me over to another table it was set up for a sip and paint he had my favorite Stella Rose bottle of wine he loves me how could he not. He asks how have I been feeling physically but also mentally of course I replied I'm fine he give me that look he always give me when he knows I'm lying to him. I changed the subject and we started talking about our dreams and goals. Being that I'm a stay-at-home mom I never really had goals, but my dream has always been to write books and write tv shows. He never knew that and was surprised that I never mentioned it to him. Why would I right we already both have busy schedules. It's getting late I really enjoyed myself and started to realize he didn't let me drown in my thoughts and let me unwind. Sex tonight, eh? The sitter had our babies bathe and, in the bed, so we were able to have a night cap alone for the first time in so long, Definity about to take advantage of this. We decided to take a shower together whew we were being grown-ups. He kisses my neck while washing my back for me I started to feel fuzzy inside, what is he doing to me, whatever it is I like it. We get out he starts to rub my body down in oil man I didn't know I had all these kinks in my body. Derreck is the type to know body language, so everything he's doing to me he's doing it right but also taking it slow, is this my husband? He then grabs my hand and placed it down below and started kissing my stomach, I'm all the way turned on who is this man. My fingers go in and slowly comes out and I hear him shout "Ashley What are you doing?" I jump up just to realize this was all a damn dream. Lost girl, Eh?
